Gonna be a hot one today....
••
••••••
•••
♥
The difference between dogs and men.....
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch
(and they never laugh at how you throw.)
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
10. Dogs understand what "no" means.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
1. Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you're gone.
3. Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
4. Dogs admit when they're jealous.
5. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
6. Dogs do not play games with you-except fetch
(and they never laugh at how you throw.)
7. You can train a dog.
8. Dogs are easy to buy for.
9. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
10. Dogs understand what "no" means.
11. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
••
A director decided to award a prize of $100 for the best
idea for saving the company money during the credit
crunch.
It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing
the prize money to $10.
idea for saving the company money during the credit
crunch.
It was won by a young executive who suggested reducing
the prize money to $10.
••
Parachuting from a helicopter over a drop zone
inside Camp Dawson, West Virginia, a
lieutenant colonel from the special Forces
Group Airborne found himself doing battle with
a sudden twenty-two-knot wind, which forced
him onto a nearby golf course.
On landing, The Green Beret fumbled for the
release but another gust drove the chute and its
struggling captive down the fairway, catching
the attention of three players about to tee off.
"Can we help?" shouted the golfers.
Sliding by them, the officer clung to his sense of
humor as well as his pride.
"No, thanks," he called out.
"I'll just play through."
inside Camp Dawson, West Virginia, a
lieutenant colonel from the special Forces
Group Airborne found himself doing battle with
a sudden twenty-two-knot wind, which forced
him onto a nearby golf course.
On landing, The Green Beret fumbled for the
release but another gust drove the chute and its
struggling captive down the fairway, catching
the attention of three players about to tee off.
"Can we help?" shouted the golfers.
Sliding by them, the officer clung to his sense of
humor as well as his pride.
"No, thanks," he called out.
"I'll just play through."
••
Q. "Why did Bill go to the doctor?"
"There was some sawdust on his shoulder so they thought
that he had a perforated eardrum"
"There was some sawdust on his shoulder so they thought
that he had a perforated eardrum"
••
I got an A on my very first university English paper.
While the professor was impressed with my work, she said
she had deducted a few marks for a spelling error.
After several readings, I couldn't find my mistake.
Preparing to challenge the prof, I stood up and stopped
flipping through my assignment.
There on the cover, was a red circle around my misspelled
name.
While the professor was impressed with my work, she said
she had deducted a few marks for a spelling error.
After several readings, I couldn't find my mistake.
Preparing to challenge the prof, I stood up and stopped
flipping through my assignment.
There on the cover, was a red circle around my misspelled
name.
••
I remember the words to nearly every song from the
mid 50's to the late 60's.
But I can't remember why I just walked into my garage.
mid 50's to the late 60's.
But I can't remember why I just walked into my garage.
••
I saw a grown man once riding one of those weird standup
scooters down the side of the road -- you have to tilt to
make it move forward, I think its called a Segway.
Wearing a toga and holding a sign for a pizza sale.
My first thought was, Congrats, you've hit rock bottom.
But my second thought was, If you took away just the sign,
then that guy would rule.
scooters down the side of the road -- you have to tilt to
make it move forward, I think its called a Segway.
Wearing a toga and holding a sign for a pizza sale.
My first thought was, Congrats, you've hit rock bottom.
But my second thought was, If you took away just the sign,
then that guy would rule.
••
A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" asks the doctor.
"It doesn't work," replied the boxer.
"Every time I get to nine I stand up."
"Have you tried counting sheep?" asks the doctor.
"It doesn't work," replied the boxer.
"Every time I get to nine I stand up."
