Some nice storms last night...
So a cool 88º today.....
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♥
Here's how I feel about gay marriage.
I dont understand why people care whether you marry a
man or a woman.
Cause if you've ever seen a couple over 65, it is very hard
to tell who is who.
I dont understand why people care whether you marry a
man or a woman.
Cause if you've ever seen a couple over 65, it is very hard
to tell who is who.
••
This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign.
When the cop checked the man's driver's license, he said,
"You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now.
I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
The guy said, "Officer, I have contacts."
The cop said, "Look, buddy, I don't care who you know, ...
I'm giving you a ticket."
When the cop checked the man's driver's license, he said,
"You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now.
I'm going to have to give you a ticket."
The guy said, "Officer, I have contacts."
The cop said, "Look, buddy, I don't care who you know, ...
I'm giving you a ticket."
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The new father ran out of the delivery room and
announced to the rest of his family who were waiting for
the news: “We had twins!”
The family was so excited they immediately asked,
“Who do they look like?”
The father paused, smiled, and said, “Each other!”
announced to the rest of his family who were waiting for
the news: “We had twins!”
The family was so excited they immediately asked,
“Who do they look like?”
The father paused, smiled, and said, “Each other!”
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The long-winded Congressman said to his colleague,
"Did you notice how my voice filled the House chamber
this afternoon?"
"Most certainly," the man replied.
"And did you notice how a lot of members left to make
room for it?"
"Did you notice how my voice filled the House chamber
this afternoon?"
"Most certainly," the man replied.
"And did you notice how a lot of members left to make
room for it?"
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Man walks into his local bar, Just inside the door,
there is a very fat girl dancing on a table,
He watches for a while and as he passes he says :
"Fantastic legs",
The girl stops dancing , smiles and says "do you really
think so?"
He says "Absolutely, any other table would have collapsed
by now!!"
there is a very fat girl dancing on a table,
He watches for a while and as he passes he says :
"Fantastic legs",
The girl stops dancing , smiles and says "do you really
think so?"
He says "Absolutely, any other table would have collapsed
by now!!"
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She's single... She lives right across the street.
I can see her house from my living room.
I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up
my path.
She knocked on my door...
I rushed to open it.
She looked at me & said, "Gus, I just got home, and I am
so happy!
I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk,and
make love all night long!...... Are you busy to-night?”
I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free...
I have no plans at all!"
Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you watch my
dog?"
I can see her house from my living room.
I watched as she got home from work this evening.
I was surprised when she walked across the street and up
my path.
She knocked on my door...
I rushed to open it.
She looked at me & said, "Gus, I just got home, and I am
so happy!
I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk,and
make love all night long!...... Are you busy to-night?”
I immediately replied, "Nope, I'm free...
I have no plans at all!"
Then she said, "Good! In that case, could you watch my
dog?"
••
Due to budget constraints, the Board of the Daily Planet
advised Perry White that he had to let one of his star
reporters go.
He was really overwhelmed about the magnitude of the
decision.
"Who should go, Clark or Lois?"
He actually did some praying, which he hadn't done for a
long time.
He asked, "Please, show me a sign."
That afternoon, he was doing some shopping at Wal-Mart
and, when he went to his car, he suddenly saw the answer!
The next day, he called Clark and Lois into the office and
said, "I'm sorry, Lois, but you have to go."
After Lois collected her things and left, Clark took Perry
aside and asked, "Chief, how did you decide which one of
us should go?"
Perry said, "Well, that turned out to be easier than I
thought.
While I was parking at Wal-Mart, I looked up and there
was the sign: 'FIRE LANE.'"
advised Perry White that he had to let one of his star
reporters go.
He was really overwhelmed about the magnitude of the
decision.
"Who should go, Clark or Lois?"
He actually did some praying, which he hadn't done for a
long time.
He asked, "Please, show me a sign."
That afternoon, he was doing some shopping at Wal-Mart
and, when he went to his car, he suddenly saw the answer!
The next day, he called Clark and Lois into the office and
said, "I'm sorry, Lois, but you have to go."
After Lois collected her things and left, Clark took Perry
aside and asked, "Chief, how did you decide which one of
us should go?"
Perry said, "Well, that turned out to be easier than I
thought.
While I was parking at Wal-Mart, I looked up and there
was the sign: 'FIRE LANE.'"
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Many folks have written with perfectly plausible
explanations about why merchants take my phone number
on a credit card charge.
What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm
perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card,
I'm not about to give out a correct phone number.
They make no effort to validate the phone number before
I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone
numbers of a bunch of honest people.
Now then... Why are they collecting the phone numbers of
a bunch of honest people?
I once asked why you are asked for your phone number
when using your charge cards.
The clerk explained that thieves have been caught because
they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number,
not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.
explanations about why merchants take my phone number
on a credit card charge.
What these fail to address, however, is that if I'm
perpetrating a fraud in the use of this credit card,
I'm not about to give out a correct phone number.
They make no effort to validate the phone number before
I leave, so what they're doing is collecting the phone
numbers of a bunch of honest people.
Now then... Why are they collecting the phone numbers of
a bunch of honest people?
I once asked why you are asked for your phone number
when using your charge cards.
The clerk explained that thieves have been caught because
they stupidly put down THEIR home phone number,
not the phone number of the person who "owned" the card.
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