••••••
•••
♥
Today 7-Eleven stores in Singapore debuted a new food
dispenser, an instant mashed potato dispenser.
This means the Indonesians are pulling ahead of us in the
cholesterol race.
This is serious.
We may have to raise our threat level to defcon bacon.
dispenser, an instant mashed potato dispenser.
This means the Indonesians are pulling ahead of us in the
cholesterol race.
This is serious.
We may have to raise our threat level to defcon bacon.
••
Mitt Romney is worth $250 million, and reporters said,
"Mitt, honestly, how did you get so rich?" And he said,
"Well, I've always been good with my money and I do
smart things.
I always make sure my tires are properly inflated.
And I save 15 percent on my car insurance by switching
to GEICO."
"Mitt, honestly, how did you get so rich?" And he said,
"Well, I've always been good with my money and I do
smart things.
I always make sure my tires are properly inflated.
And I save 15 percent on my car insurance by switching
to GEICO."
••
My son Billy burst into the room and excitedly announced he had
won a prize in his Grade 1 class.
After telling him how proud of him I was, I asked what he had
achieved.
"I won," he said, "for having the oldest mom in the whole class!"
won a prize in his Grade 1 class.
After telling him how proud of him I was, I asked what he had
achieved.
"I won," he said, "for having the oldest mom in the whole class!"
••
I had somebody ask me if I was ever in the ARMY.
I said yes...................I fought for the south.
I said yes...................I fought for the south.
••
A couple stopped in a small town for a late dinner and
found that the only place open was supper club with a
cover charge.
"But we only want to eat," said the man.
"Go ahead," said the hostess, "But if you look like you're
having too much fun, we will have to charge"
found that the only place open was supper club with a
cover charge.
"But we only want to eat," said the man.
"Go ahead," said the hostess, "But if you look like you're
having too much fun, we will have to charge"
••
According to a new report, the average Canadian is now
richer than the average American.
This is bad news for Americans and worse news for those
Mexicans who now have to tunnel all the way to Canada.
richer than the average American.
This is bad news for Americans and worse news for those
Mexicans who now have to tunnel all the way to Canada.
••
Our favourite restaurant has a waitress whose
name tag reads "Beautiful"
"Is that really your name?" I asked her.
"No" she admitted.
"But if people are going to holler at me all day,
I can at least be called something I like."
name tag reads "Beautiful"
"Is that really your name?" I asked her.
"No" she admitted.
"But if people are going to holler at me all day,
I can at least be called something I like."
••
How do they get deers to cross at that yellow
road sign?
road sign?
••
I never understood the concept of summer school.
The teachers going to go up there and go, OK, class,
you know that subject you couldnt grasp in nine months?
Were going to whip it out in six weeks.
The teachers going to go up there and go, OK, class,
you know that subject you couldnt grasp in nine months?
Were going to whip it out in six weeks.
••
A chef from McDonald’s just revealed the recipe to the
Big Mac’s secret sauce.
Even more surprising — he also revealed the McRib’s
secret meat.
Big Mac’s secret sauce.
Even more surprising — he also revealed the McRib’s
secret meat.
••
Old lady's need to be chaperoned.....
As I walked around the grocery store an old lady
approached me with a can of fly spray.
Excuse me young man, do you know if this is any good for
flies? she asked.
no, it kills them ' I replied.
As I walked around the grocery store an old lady
approached me with a can of fly spray.
Excuse me young man, do you know if this is any good for
flies? she asked.
no, it kills them ' I replied.
