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The economy is so bad...that McDonald's
has a layaway plan.
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The economy is so bad…that Made In America
stickers are
now being made in China.
now being made in China.
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Acme companys
Acme Rope, Inc. -
Knot your ordinary company.
Acme Mine Shafts -
Drop in any time
Acme Lollipops -
One lick and you'll stick with us.
Acme Light Company -
We have lots of bright ideas.
Acme Clown Make-up -
Let us put a smile on your face.
Acme Perfume Corp. -
We love it when business stinks.
Acme Air Conditioning -
We show people how to chill out.
Acme Perfume Company -
Our work is all dollars and scents.
Acme Almond Company -
We're nuts!
Acme Sheep Farm -
Our mind is on ewe.
Acme Flower Bulbs -
We root for you.
Acme Poultry Management -
Let us count your chickens before they hatch.
Acme companys
Acme Rope, Inc. -
Knot your ordinary company.
Acme Mine Shafts -
Drop in any time
Acme Lollipops -
One lick and you'll stick with us.
Acme Light Company -
We have lots of bright ideas.
Acme Clown Make-up -
Let us put a smile on your face.
Acme Perfume Corp. -
We love it when business stinks.
Acme Air Conditioning -
We show people how to chill out.
Acme Perfume Company -
Our work is all dollars and scents.
Acme Almond Company -
We're nuts!
Acme Sheep Farm -
Our mind is on ewe.
Acme Flower Bulbs -
We root for you.
Acme Poultry Management -
Let us count your chickens before they hatch.
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An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual
physical.
After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill,
but we have discovered you have a condition which only
allows you another 6 weeks to live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great.
I haven't felt better in years.
This just can't be true.
Isn't there anything I can do?"
After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start
going down the street to that new health spa and take a
mud bath every day."
Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?"
"No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt."
physical.
After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill,
but we have discovered you have a condition which only
allows you another 6 weeks to live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great.
I haven't felt better in years.
This just can't be true.
Isn't there anything I can do?"
After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start
going down the street to that new health spa and take a
mud bath every day."
Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?"
"No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt."
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Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath into a very deep sleep.
A. David. He rocked Goliath into a very deep sleep.
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The bank called the wife and said her account was
"overdrawn".
She asked what overdrawn meant.
"It means you are out of funds."
That is impossible, she replied.
I STILL have a whole box of checks!
"overdrawn".
She asked what overdrawn meant.
"It means you are out of funds."
That is impossible, she replied.
I STILL have a whole box of checks!
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If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
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•The White House is now urging Americans not to
"read too much" into last week’s jobs report.
In fact, they said it would be best if you didn’t read it at all.
"read too much" into last week’s jobs report.
In fact, they said it would be best if you didn’t read it at all.
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introduced to this baldheaded guy in connecticut whose
name is gardner.
I said, "hey, they got a city in massachusetts named after
you"
he replied "what is that? marblehead?"
name is gardner.
I said, "hey, they got a city in massachusetts named after
you"
he replied "what is that? marblehead?"
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Wife: Before we got married, you used to give me gifts,
and now you don’t........ Why is that?
Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman giving
worms to a fish he has already caught?
and now you don’t........ Why is that?
Husband: Have you ever seen a fisherman giving
worms to a fish he has already caught?
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