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♥
Two kids are talking to each other.
One says, "I'm really worried.
My dad works twelve hours a day to give us a nice home
and good food.
My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for
me........ I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about?
Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid asks, "What if they try to escape?"
One says, "I'm really worried.
My dad works twelve hours a day to give us a nice home
and good food.
My mom spends the whole day cleaning and cooking for
me........ I'm worried sick!"
The other kid says, "What have you got to worry about?
Sounds to me like you've got it made!"
The first kid asks, "What if they try to escape?"
•
Bugsie had been sentenced to prison for a long time.
They did not know that he was a mechanical genius when
they placed him in charge of the chicken yard.
He would go about, picking up pieces of metal and wood.
He made an engine and some wings.
One day, at roll call they found that he had placed the
engine and wings on the chicken shed and flown the coop.
They did not know that he was a mechanical genius when
they placed him in charge of the chicken yard.
He would go about, picking up pieces of metal and wood.
He made an engine and some wings.
One day, at roll call they found that he had placed the
engine and wings on the chicken shed and flown the coop.
••
As I walked through the Pearly Gates , a gorgeous, sexy
woman came running up to me.
She said "I told you your wife would kill us."
woman came running up to me.
She said "I told you your wife would kill us."
••
My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I
couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice car," I said as he got out.
"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard,
put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."
couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice car," I said as he got out.
"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard,
put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."
••
A guy went to his friends's fancy dress costume party with
nothing but a naked girl on his back.
"So what are you supposed to be?" the host asked
indignantly.
"I'm a snail," the friend replied.
The exasperated host asked, "How can you be a snail when
all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"
The friend replied.................. "That's Michelle."
nothing but a naked girl on his back.
"So what are you supposed to be?" the host asked
indignantly.
"I'm a snail," the friend replied.
The exasperated host asked, "How can you be a snail when
all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"
The friend replied.................. "That's Michelle."
••
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
Who's there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!
••
The orangutan was reading two books
One day the zookeeper noticed that the orangutan was
reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of
Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both
those books"?
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was
my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
One day the zookeeper noticed that the orangutan was
reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of
Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both
those books"?
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was
my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
••
I want my dying words to be
"I left the two million dollars hidden in the........."
"I left the two million dollars hidden in the........."
••
