Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning....Friends...
••

••••••

•••

♥

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
How many can you afford?

••

I never got a hole in one -- but I did hit a guy, and thats
way more satisfying.
You're supposed to yell Fore, but I was too busy mumbling
There aint no way thats gonna hit him.

••

When he was denied membership in an exclusive country
club on account of being an actor, biblical epic star
Victor John Mature retorted,
"Hell, I'm no actor, and I've got thirty movies to prove it!"

••

I was given 500 AA batteries today.
I got them home, tested them and every single one was
dead.
Oh well at least they were free of charge.

••

Having alcohol by yourself at home is considered a
problem, but social drinking is acceptable.
So whenever I open a mason jar of moonshine,
I always log on to Facebook......

••

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three.
One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the
ladder company.

••

In church last Sunday, this little old lady in the pew next to
me was silently saying a private prayer.
I saw her lips moving and I thought it was so unique that
I just had to ask her who she was praying for.
What she said was so sweet, and sincere, that I just had to
share it with you:
"Dear Father, ... These past couple of years have been tough....
You've taken my favorite Actor Patrick Swayze, my favorite
actress Elizabeth Taylor, my favorite Cowboy James Arness, my favorite
athlete Bob Feller, my favorite singer Whitney Houston and my favorite
salesman Billy Mays.
I just wanted you to know that my favorite president is
Barack Obama.
In Jesus' name, Amen...

••

I have no respect for today's gangs!
They just drive by and shoot people.
At least in the old days, like in ''West Side Story'',
the gangs used to dance with each other first!!

••