Gosh I was hot yesterday....
103º on th deck.... Storm came thru
Temp dropped to 86º in just a few minutes...
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9 out of 10 men keep their eyes closed while
making love.
I have to keep mine open.
I need to keep a look out for the wife.
making love.
I have to keep mine open.
I need to keep a look out for the wife.
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There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning.
When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said,
"Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman
about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she
had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided,
I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little
clearer!
When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said,
"Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman
about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she
had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided,
I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little
clearer!
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Doctor to patient: "Congratulations!
The high price of butter, meat and eggs has cleared up
your cholesterol."
The high price of butter, meat and eggs has cleared up
your cholesterol."
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What's green and has a talk show?
1. Okra Winphrey
2. David Lettuceman ...
1. Okra Winphrey
2. David Lettuceman ...
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Guantanamo Bay is now undergoing millions of dollars
worth of renovations, including a new soccer field, cable
TV, and better housing.
Which is kind of ironic.
The only people who say they're better off today than they
were four years ago are the inmates at Guantanamo Bay.
worth of renovations, including a new soccer field, cable
TV, and better housing.
Which is kind of ironic.
The only people who say they're better off today than they
were four years ago are the inmates at Guantanamo Bay.
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A wiseguy named Jimmy the Weasel in the witness
protection program kept committing crimes so they kicked
him out of the program.
Who could've predicted that you couldn't trust a guy called
"The Weasel."
protection program kept committing crimes so they kicked
him out of the program.
Who could've predicted that you couldn't trust a guy called
"The Weasel."
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A group of protesters crashed a van into Microsoft’s
headquarters in Athens.
When they heard a van crashed, Microsoft was like,
“We make vans?”
headquarters in Athens.
When they heard a van crashed, Microsoft was like,
“We make vans?”
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A lot of times people in the witness protection program get
plastic surgery.
That’s why the Mafia spent so much time looking for
Sammy "The Cat Lady" Ravanno.
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plastic surgery.
That’s why the Mafia spent so much time looking for
Sammy "The Cat Lady" Ravanno.
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