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Excuses for Speeding.....
Kitsap County , Washington, had begun to crack
Kitsap County , Washington, had begun to crack
down on speeding motorists.
Here's a list of some answers they received when they
asked the drivers why they were speeding:
♣My gas petal got stuck.
♣Don't I get a couple miles per hour over when
Here's a list of some answers they received when they
asked the drivers why they were speeding:
♣My gas petal got stuck.
♣Don't I get a couple miles per hour over when
I'm taking my grandchildren to the airport?
♣I didn't know I was speeding because my lights were off.
♣I didn't know I was speeding because my lights were off.
♣My speedometer is broken.
♣I had a bee in my car.
♣I've been drinking and I wanted to get off the road quickly.
♣I am driving my friend to the hospital.
He has alcohol poisoning.
♣I had a bee in my car.
♣I've been drinking and I wanted to get off the road quickly.
♣I am driving my friend to the hospital.
He has alcohol poisoning.
(The driver was also found to be
intoxicated.)
♣(After crashing) I put high test gas in my car and it
caused me to lose control.
(He was also found to be intoxicated.)
♣I'm trying to catch that UFO.
Will you try to catch it for me?
♣I get 10 extra miles per hour in the fast lane.
♣I'm wearing shoes that are really heavy and they make
the gas petal go down more.
♣My doctor gave me the wrong medication.
intoxicated.)
♣(After crashing) I put high test gas in my car and it
caused me to lose control.
(He was also found to be intoxicated.)
♣I'm trying to catch that UFO.
Will you try to catch it for me?
♣I get 10 extra miles per hour in the fast lane.
♣I'm wearing shoes that are really heavy and they make
the gas petal go down more.
♣My doctor gave me the wrong medication.
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I'm not one to brag about my financial skills, but my
credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me
my balance is outstanding.
credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me
my balance is outstanding.
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My son's school project involved him collecting 30
leaves from different trees and bushes.
'I really should have put a lock on my greenhouse.'
I thought, as I sat in the back of the police van.
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Gus goes to a sport store to buy a pair of running shoes.
When he enters the shop, he's astounded by the wide
selection of jogging shoes available.
The assistant shows him one particular pair of shoes and
says, "These might be the ideal shoes for someone of your
age, sir. They're called Nike Energy Savers.
As Gus is trying them on, he notices the left shoe contains
an unusual pocket next to the heel, so he asks the assistant,
" What's this little pocket thing for?"
"You can carry spare change in there, sir," replies the
assistant, so you can call your wife to pick you up when
you've jogged enough."
When he enters the shop, he's astounded by the wide
selection of jogging shoes available.
The assistant shows him one particular pair of shoes and
says, "These might be the ideal shoes for someone of your
age, sir. They're called Nike Energy Savers.
As Gus is trying them on, he notices the left shoe contains
an unusual pocket next to the heel, so he asks the assistant,
" What's this little pocket thing for?"
"You can carry spare change in there, sir," replies the
assistant, so you can call your wife to pick you up when
you've jogged enough."
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You Might Be a Farmer If...
* Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
* You convince your wife that an overnight,
out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.
* You have ever had to wash off in the backyard
with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
* You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
* You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.
* You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.
* Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
* You convince your wife that an overnight,
out-of-state trip for equipment parts is a vacation.
* You have ever had to wash off in the backyard
with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
* You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
* You have used baling wire to attach a license plate.
* You have used a chain saw to remodel your house.
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Sunny : Do they have a 4th of July in England?
Tommy: Of course.....
How else do they get from the 3rd to the 5th?
Tommy: Of course.....
How else do they get from the 3rd to the 5th?
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A Five year old boy was trying to write a letter..
Dad: What are you writing my son ??
Son: Love letter to my girlfriend !!!
Dad: Do you know how to write ??
Son: No!!! So what...
She also doesn't know how to read..
It's Love Dad you won't Understand....
Dad: What are you writing my son ??
Son: Love letter to my girlfriend !!!
Dad: Do you know how to write ??
Son: No!!! So what...
She also doesn't know how to read..
It's Love Dad you won't Understand....
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My girlfriend said that I'm too immature for her
I said "If I'm immature, how come I've got an Assfor?"
She said "What's an Assfor?"
"Chitting." I said, and giggled for 20 minutes.
I said "If I'm immature, how come I've got an Assfor?"
She said "What's an Assfor?"
"Chitting." I said, and giggled for 20 minutes.
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A newly engaged couple were having dinner with
the bride-to-be's parents.
Things were going smoothly until her father
decided to find out a little more about her fiancé.
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man,
can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no.
I was just planning to support your daughter.
The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
the bride-to-be's parents.
Things were going smoothly until her father
decided to find out a little more about her fiancé.
The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man,
can you support a family?"
The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no.
I was just planning to support your daughter.
The rest of you will have to fend for yourselves."
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