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What is the difference between a dog and a fox?
About 5 drinks.
About 5 drinks.
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A man goes to a jewelry store looking to buy a watch.
He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and
asks the sales clerk why there are no hands.
The sales clerk says--"you are suppose to read his lips".
He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch"
and notices that it isn't running - the sales clerk tells him
"it runs, it doesn't run, it runs, it doesn't run . . ."
He then notices a watch called the "Barrack Obama" and
sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good
watch.
He asks the sales clerk how much.
The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax,
plus tax, plus tax . . ."
He looks at a watch called "the George Bush Watch" and
asks the sales clerk why there are no hands.
The sales clerk says--"you are suppose to read his lips".
He then looks at a watch called the "Ross Perot Watch"
and notices that it isn't running - the sales clerk tells him
"it runs, it doesn't run, it runs, it doesn't run . . ."
He then notices a watch called the "Barrack Obama" and
sees that it runs, has hands and looks like a pretty good
watch.
He asks the sales clerk how much.
The sales clerk replies "$19.95 plus tax, plus tax, plus tax,
plus tax, plus tax . . ."
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I bought Walmarts house brand Cornflakes the other day.
It said on the box, "Made from 100% recycled paper."
No wonder they tasted like crap.....
It said on the box, "Made from 100% recycled paper."
No wonder they tasted like crap.....
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A customer called a service line demanding help with his
TV set, which wouldn't come on.
He was told a technician couldn't be sent because of
blizzard conditions.
"But I need my TV fixed today," complained the man.
"What else am I going to do while the power is out?"
TV set, which wouldn't come on.
He was told a technician couldn't be sent because of
blizzard conditions.
"But I need my TV fixed today," complained the man.
"What else am I going to do while the power is out?"
••
•A new poll found that 54 percent of Florida voters think
the country is on the wrong track under President Obama.
While the rest of Florida’s voters still think
Teddy Roosevelt is president.
the country is on the wrong track under President Obama.
While the rest of Florida’s voters still think
Teddy Roosevelt is president.
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Joey: Pop, who was Hamlet?
Herb: Don't they teach you even the simplest things in
school?
Joey: Not that.
Herb: I'll have to talk to your teachers.
Meanwhile bring me our Bible and I'll show you who
Hamlet was.
Herb: Don't they teach you even the simplest things in
school?
Joey: Not that.
Herb: I'll have to talk to your teachers.
Meanwhile bring me our Bible and I'll show you who
Hamlet was.
••
Two goats were eating lunch in the junk yard.
One goat came across a large reel of movie film
left over from an old movie theatre.
As the first goat ate the film, the second goat
watched with much interest as it had never seen
movie film before.
When the first goat had finished eating all the
film.
The second asked "So, how did you like it?" to
which the first goat replied "Not bad...
but I liked the book better!"
One goat came across a large reel of movie film
left over from an old movie theatre.
As the first goat ate the film, the second goat
watched with much interest as it had never seen
movie film before.
When the first goat had finished eating all the
film.
The second asked "So, how did you like it?" to
which the first goat replied "Not bad...
but I liked the book better!"
••
Researchers in The Antarctica have come to the
realization that there are no dead Penguins on the ice in
Antarctica.
Where do they go?
Wonder no more!......It is known that the Penguin is a
very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and
complex life.
The Penguinis very committed to its family and will mate
for life as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact
with its off- spring through out its life.
If a Penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other
members of the family and social circle have been known
to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks,
until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled
into and buried.
The male Penguins gather in a circle around the fresh grave
and sing: "Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow."
"Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow."
Then, they kick him in the ice hole.
realization that there are no dead Penguins on the ice in
Antarctica.
Where do they go?
Wonder no more!......It is known that the Penguin is a
very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and
complex life.
The Penguinis very committed to its family and will mate
for life as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact
with its off- spring through out its life.
If a Penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other
members of the family and social circle have been known
to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks,
until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled
into and buried.
The male Penguins gather in a circle around the fresh grave
and sing: "Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow."
"Freeze A Jolly Good Fellow."
Then, they kick him in the ice hole.
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A girl was learning the differences among reptiles, fish,
and warm-blooded animals.
One day she came home with a concerned look on her face.
When her mother asked what was wrong, the girl, answered
"Mommy, when Daddy loses all of his hair, will he still be
a mammal?
and warm-blooded animals.
One day she came home with a concerned look on her face.
When her mother asked what was wrong, the girl, answered
"Mommy, when Daddy loses all of his hair, will he still be
a mammal?
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