Ready, set, here we come weekend...
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♥
Do you know....
The future for midgets is looking up.
The future for midgets is looking up.
I went to see a psychic yesterday.
He said "What's your name?"
He said "What's your name?"
I said "I want my money back"
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I was in R-ville....and saw a bumper sticker
I was in R-ville....and saw a bumper sticker
on a parked
car that read: 'I miss Baltimore'.
So I broke the window, stole the radio, took a laptop, the
GPS and tires, then left a note that read:
'I hope this helps!!!'
car that read: 'I miss Baltimore'.
So I broke the window, stole the radio, took a laptop, the
GPS and tires, then left a note that read:
'I hope this helps!!!'
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I was feeling a bit down on myself......
My wife asked what was wrong.
I said "I am not very funny".
She told me I am the funniest guy she knows.
I said "I am not very smart".
She told me I am the smartest guy she knows.
I said "I am not the best lover".
She said two out of three ain't bad.
My wife asked what was wrong.
I said "I am not very funny".
She told me I am the funniest guy she knows.
I said "I am not very smart".
She told me I am the smartest guy she knows.
I said "I am not the best lover".
She said two out of three ain't bad.
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You know how to you make God laugh?
Tell him your plans.
Tell him your plans.
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A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some
friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great
relationship," the wife explained.
"He was a communications major in college,
friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great
relationship," the wife explained.
"He was a communications major in college,
and I majored in theater arts.
He communicates really well,
He communicates really well,
and I just act as if I'm listening."
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How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail?
Envelopes in the disk drive.
Envelopes in the disk drive.
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Dear Mr. Gusman
Your nude photo was submitted to Playgirl last month.
Your wife had asked us to take it into consideration
Your nude photo was submitted to Playgirl last month.
Your wife had asked us to take it into consideration
for the next centerfold.
We regret to inform you that we will not be able to use
your photo.
On a scale of 1 to 10 your body rated 2 by our panel of
women ranging from 60 to 75 years old.
We tried to assemble a panel of women ranging from
We regret to inform you that we will not be able to use
your photo.
On a scale of 1 to 10 your body rated 2 by our panel of
women ranging from 60 to 75 years old.
We tried to assemble a panel of women ranging from
25 to 45, however we could not get them to stop
laughing long
enough to reach a decision.
Should the taste of American women ever change so
drastically that bodies such as yours would be appropriate
to our centerfold, you would be notified at once.
In the meantime don’t call us we’ll call you.
Sympathetically,
PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE
Editor
Linda Goodhead
P.S. We do commend you for your “unusual pose”.
enough to reach a decision.
Should the taste of American women ever change so
drastically that bodies such as yours would be appropriate
to our centerfold, you would be notified at once.
In the meantime don’t call us we’ll call you.
Sympathetically,
PLAYGIRL MAGAZINE
Editor
Linda Goodhead
P.S. We do commend you for your “unusual pose”.
••
I asked my boss, Where do you want this big roll of bubble
wrap?"
"just pop it in the corner," he said.
Took me three hours....
wrap?"
"just pop it in the corner," he said.
Took me three hours....
