Happy Fathers Day, Capt.
Simper Fi..
••••••
•••
♥
Gus asks the pharmacist: "Why does my prescribed
medication have 30 side effects?"
The Pharmacist replies: "well, that's all we've documented
so far."
medication have 30 side effects?"
The Pharmacist replies: "well, that's all we've documented
so far."
••
My ten year old daughter asked me what it was that
made me want to marry her mum.
I said, "Come back when you're eighteen."
She giggled and asked, "Why, is it rude?"
"No, but I might have figured it out by then," I replied.
made me want to marry her mum.
I said, "Come back when you're eighteen."
She giggled and asked, "Why, is it rude?"
"No, but I might have figured it out by then," I replied.
••
A cowboy was riding into a strange town when he saw a
couple of Indians,
"Can you tell me where the nearest toilet is"?
asked the cowboy
"We just use that bush over there" answered one of the
Indians
The cowboy went behind the bush and had a pee but when
he came out all the Indians were laughing,
"What's so funny"? he asked,
"That's the ladies"...... shouted the Indians.
couple of Indians,
"Can you tell me where the nearest toilet is"?
asked the cowboy
"We just use that bush over there" answered one of the
Indians
The cowboy went behind the bush and had a pee but when
he came out all the Indians were laughing,
"What's so funny"? he asked,
"That's the ladies"...... shouted the Indians.
••
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning.
When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said,
"Strip down facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman
about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she
had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided,
I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little
clearer!
When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said,
"Strip down facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman
about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she
had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided,
I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little
clearer!
••
Remember when?
...the only optical storage device you could buy was a case
for your spectacles.
...the only optical storage device you could buy was a case
for your spectacles.
••
In the midst of a veritable downpour, a gallant driver saw
a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and
couldn't bear passing her by.
He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin,
exclaimed jovially, "There, little lady, that's done!"
"Quiet," she ordered him.
"You'll wake up my husband.
He's taking a nap in the back seat."
a woman alone in the mud trying to change a flat tire, and
couldn't bear passing her by.
He completed the job for her, and, soaked to the skin,
exclaimed jovially, "There, little lady, that's done!"
"Quiet," she ordered him.
"You'll wake up my husband.
He's taking a nap in the back seat."
••
A doctor drank while putting on patients' casts.
He was soon plastered.
He was soon plastered.
••
The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box
with holes on the side.
He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in
there, pal?"
"A mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get.
When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of
snakes..... That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."
"But," the friend said, "you idiot!
Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the
interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."
with holes on the side.
He bumped into a friend who asked, "What do you have in
there, pal?"
"A mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how drunk I can get.
When I get drunk I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of
snakes..... That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."
"But," the friend said, "you idiot!
Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," said the drunk, showing his friend the
interior of the box, "So is the mongoose."
