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The International Olympic Committee announced today
that it has taken back the gold medal previously awarded
to American skier Lindsey Vonn and given it to U.S.
President Barack Obama.
Olympic officials said Obama deserved the medal more
than Vonn because no one has ever gone downhill faster
than he has.
that it has taken back the gold medal previously awarded
to American skier Lindsey Vonn and given it to U.S.
President Barack Obama.
Olympic officials said Obama deserved the medal more
than Vonn because no one has ever gone downhill faster
than he has.
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Carpenter bees are a hoax......
I bought 50 of them and they haven't built a damn thing.
I bought 50 of them and they haven't built a damn thing.
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If people could hear the next five seconds after I hit end
on a call... I would have no friends..
on a call... I would have no friends..
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Sally was seen going into the woods with a small package
and a large bird cage.
She was gone several days but finally she returned.
Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad.
Liz said, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of
days.
Glad you got back okay, but you look so sad. Why?"
Sally replied, "Because I just can't get a man."
Liz said, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of
the woods."
"Don't be so silly, Sally said, "I know that.
I went in the woods because I needed something there that
would get me a man....... But I couldn't find it."
Liz said, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Sally replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of
owls.
I took some dead mice and a bird cage."
"So, how's that gonna help you get a man?" asked Liz.
Sally said, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to
have a good pair of hooters."
and a large bird cage.
She was gone several days but finally she returned.
Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad.
Liz said, "Heard you went off in the woods for a couple of
days.
Glad you got back okay, but you look so sad. Why?"
Sally replied, "Because I just can't get a man."
Liz said, "Well, you sure won't find one in the middle of
the woods."
"Don't be so silly, Sally said, "I know that.
I went in the woods because I needed something there that
would get me a man....... But I couldn't find it."
Liz said, "I don't understand what you're talking about."
Sally replied, "Well, I went there to catch a couple of
owls.
I took some dead mice and a bird cage."
"So, how's that gonna help you get a man?" asked Liz.
Sally said, "Well, I heard the best way to get a man is to
have a good pair of hooters."
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Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears,
some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.
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Gas prices are expected to drop to around $3 a gallon by
this fall.
The price drop is the result of a complicated system.
It's called the election.
this fall.
The price drop is the result of a complicated system.
It's called the election.
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The motto of the Olympics is "Citius, altius, fortius" which
means "Faster, higher, stronger."
But it sounds more like the motto for Viagra.
means "Faster, higher, stronger."
But it sounds more like the motto for Viagra.
••
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full
of golf balls and sat down next to a blonde woman.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging
pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said,
"It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a
very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her
curiosity any longer, she asked...
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
of golf balls and sat down next to a blonde woman.
The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging
pockets.
Finally, after many glances from her, he said,
"It's golf balls."
Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a
very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said.
After several minutes, not being able to contain her
curiosity any longer, she asked...
"Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
