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New York City reached 102 degrees.
That's the first time all year the temperature in Manhattan
was higher than the age of Barbara Walters.
That's the first time all year the temperature in Manhattan
was higher than the age of Barbara Walters.
••
Joe was a single guy living at home with his father and
working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when
his sick father died, he decided he needed a wife with
whom to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment seminar he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her,
“but in just a few years, my father will pass, and I’ll inherit
his large fortune.”
Impressed, the woman took his business card and three
months later, she became Joe’s stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men!!
working in the family business.
When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when
his sick father died, he decided he needed a wife with
whom to share his fortune.
One evening at an investment seminar he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen.
Her beauty took his breath away.
“I may look like just an ordinary man,” he said to her,
“but in just a few years, my father will pass, and I’ll inherit
his large fortune.”
Impressed, the woman took his business card and three
months later, she became Joe’s stepmother.
Women are so much better at estate planning than men!!
••
A House committee is now recommending that Attorney
General Eric Holder be cited for contempt of Congress.
Now, don't confuse that for what you and I have.
That's contempt FOR Congress.
General Eric Holder be cited for contempt of Congress.
Now, don't confuse that for what you and I have.
That's contempt FOR Congress.
••
President Obama tossed around a football at
Soldier Field, home of the Chicago Bears.
Obama told Biden to go long.
Then, he hopped into his car and drove away.
Soldier Field, home of the Chicago Bears.
Obama told Biden to go long.
Then, he hopped into his car and drove away.
••
An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch
in a desolated area.
Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong
horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,
Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong
horse named Buddy.
He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled,
"Pull, Nellie, pull!"
Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy
didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!"
Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!"
And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious.
He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong
name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only
one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
Buddy didn't move.
Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy
didn't respond.
Once more the farmer commanded, "Pull, Coco, pull!"
Nothing.
Then the farmer nonchalantly said, "Pull, Buddy, pull!"
And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.
The motorist was most appreciative and very curious.
He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong
name three times.
"Well... Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only
one pulling, he wouldn't even try!"
••
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring
for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend
of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those
new sports cars."
"She did," he replied, "but where the heck was I
going to find a fake convertible?"
A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring
for Christmas.
After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend
of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those
new sports cars."
"She did," he replied, "but where the heck was I
going to find a fake convertible?"
•
I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an
on-line dating website.
That lying witch isn't, "Fun to be around."
on-line dating website.
That lying witch isn't, "Fun to be around."
••
There's a heat wave on the East Coast.
In New York City right now, the heat is driving the bees
crazy.
This bee infestation is scary.
New Yorkers are tense, on edge, and ready to
In New York City right now, the heat is driving the bees
crazy.
This bee infestation is scary.
New Yorkers are tense, on edge, and ready to
snap at any second.
Then they found out about the bees.
If you're ever attacked by bees, here is what you have to
remember.
Stop, drop, and roll.
The bees will still sting you.
But it looks so funny when you're rolling around
Then they found out about the bees.
If you're ever attacked by bees, here is what you have to
remember.
Stop, drop, and roll.
The bees will still sting you.
But it looks so funny when you're rolling around
with bees on you.
••
Experts say the most reliable way to make bees docile is
surround them with huge billows of smoke.
That's why Willie Nelson has never been stung by a bee.
Experts say the most reliable way to make bees docile is
surround them with huge billows of smoke.
That's why Willie Nelson has never been stung by a bee.
••••
