Are we having fun yet??
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An old Native American wanted a loan for $500.
He approached his local banker.
The banker pulled out the loan application, asking,
"What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.
"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker,
going strictly by the book.
"Don't know of collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost
of the loan.
Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"I don't know; it has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank.
He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan,"
he said, handing the entire amount including interest.
"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"
"Put it in my pocket."
"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked.
"I don't know of deposit."
"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it
for you.
When you want to use it you can withdraw it."
The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously
at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"
He approached his local banker.
The banker pulled out the loan application, asking,
"What are you going to do with the money?"
"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.
"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker,
going strictly by the book.
"Don't know of collateral."
"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost
of the loan.
Have you got any vehicles?"
"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."
The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"
"Yes, I have a horse."
"How old is it?"
"I don't know; it has no teeth."
Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.
Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank.
He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan,"
he said, handing the entire amount including interest.
"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"
"Put it in my pocket."
"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked.
"I don't know of deposit."
"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it
for you.
When you want to use it you can withdraw it."
The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously
at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"
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Believe it or not, I just received a check from Medicare
for all of one cent.
Why, I don't know, but concerned that some arcane
regulation complete with penalty would apply for not
cashing a government check, I took it to the bank.
for all of one cent.
Why, I don't know, but concerned that some arcane
regulation complete with penalty would apply for not
cashing a government check, I took it to the bank.
The teller looked at the amount, checked the endorsement,
and then asked, "How would you like this, heads or tails?"
and then asked, "How would you like this, heads or tails?"
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It's so hot that earlier today I saw a nun rolling an ice-cold
can of beer on her neck.
can of beer on her neck.
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Two little old ladies were attending a rather long
church service.
One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going
to sleep."
"I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore
three times."
church service.
One leaned over and whispered, "My butt is going
to sleep."
"I know," replied her companion, "I heard it snore
three times."
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A housewife who owned a piano was sitting at it
and attempting to play it one day when the
doorbell rang.
She answered it and saw a man with a toolbox and
asked why he was at her door.
"I'm the piano tuner" he says.
Stunned she tells him, "I didn't call for a piano
tuner".
The man replies, "I know, your neighbors did".
and attempting to play it one day when the
doorbell rang.
She answered it and saw a man with a toolbox and
asked why he was at her door.
"I'm the piano tuner" he says.
Stunned she tells him, "I didn't call for a piano
tuner".
The man replies, "I know, your neighbors did".
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Double standard or just wrong?
I was doing the gardening yesterday and glanced
over next doors fence and saw the lady sunbathing
topless, she reported me to the police and got me
charged for being a peeping tom.
Today I went into the garden to do a bit of naked
sunbathing and she looked over the fence and saw
me naked, so I called the police to get her arrested
for peeping!
I got arrested for indecent exposure!!
I was doing the gardening yesterday and glanced
over next doors fence and saw the lady sunbathing
topless, she reported me to the police and got me
charged for being a peeping tom.
Today I went into the garden to do a bit of naked
sunbathing and she looked over the fence and saw
me naked, so I called the police to get her arrested
for peeping!
I got arrested for indecent exposure!!
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After a young couple brought their new baby home,
the wife suggested that her husband should try
his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean
the next diaper...... I meant the next baby...!"
the wife suggested that her husband should try
his hand at changing diapers.
"I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one."
The next time came around and she asked again.
The husband looked puzzled, "Oh! I didn't mean
the next diaper...... I meant the next baby...!"
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I was talking with a blind guy the other day and asked
him what the most exciting thing he has ever done.
He told me Sky Diving... so I ask if he would do it again
and he said no.
I said why not?
He said it scared the hell out of his dog.
him what the most exciting thing he has ever done.
He told me Sky Diving... so I ask if he would do it again
and he said no.
I said why not?
He said it scared the hell out of his dog.
