We're ready for a great weekend...
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The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
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definition....
Basketball- 35000 people who need exercise watching
10 who don't..
Basketball- 35000 people who need exercise watching
10 who don't..
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In Chicago some anti-Mitt Romney protesters told
reporters they're being paid to protest.
They said they're being paid by Democrats to stand outside
and chant anti-Romney slogans.
Well, who says President Obama isn't creating any new
jobs?
reporters they're being paid to protest.
They said they're being paid by Democrats to stand outside
and chant anti-Romney slogans.
Well, who says President Obama isn't creating any new
jobs?
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Alumni Calls.....
You spend like a$100 grand in tuition, and you think
you're done with them.
Then for the rest of your life, theyre calling up asking for
money.
No one else does that.
If I see a movie, I don't get a call from the theater, like,
Were buying a new projector, can you kick in a few bucks?
Were calling all the Spiderman II alumni.
You spend like a$100 grand in tuition, and you think
you're done with them.
Then for the rest of your life, theyre calling up asking for
money.
No one else does that.
If I see a movie, I don't get a call from the theater, like,
Were buying a new projector, can you kick in a few bucks?
Were calling all the Spiderman II alumni.
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NASA has catalogued as many as 4,700 asteroids
in our solar system with the potential to strike the
earth, resulting in widespread damage.
NASA says the only reasonable response is to go
crazy.
in our solar system with the potential to strike the
earth, resulting in widespread damage.
NASA says the only reasonable response is to go
crazy.
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Wife by text to husband at work... "Windows at home
frozen... What should I do?"
Husband: "Spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them."
Wife a few minutes later: "Done that - now computer
won't work at all!"
frozen... What should I do?"
Husband: "Spray some de-icer or pour hot water on them."
Wife a few minutes later: "Done that - now computer
won't work at all!"
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It was so hot, Attorney General Eric Holder was selling
water guns to Mexican drug gangs.
water guns to Mexican drug gangs.
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If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...
does that mean that one enjoys it?
does that mean that one enjoys it?
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On this day in 1860, the Republican Party
nominated Abraham Lincoln as a presidential
candidate.
During the campaign he raised about $1 million.
You know how he was able to raise that much
money at campaign gatherings?
He passed around his giant hat.
nominated Abraham Lincoln as a presidential
candidate.
During the campaign he raised about $1 million.
You know how he was able to raise that much
money at campaign gatherings?
He passed around his giant hat.
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Guantanamo Bay is getting millions and millions of dollars
of upgrades and renovations.
In fact, they're not even calling it a detention camp anymore.
It's now a gated community.
of upgrades and renovations.
In fact, they're not even calling it a detention camp anymore.
It's now a gated community.
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It all started with Adam and Eve.
Adam was the first on the scene, so he named everything,
animals, plants, birds, fish, rivers, everything.
And then Eve shows up, looks things over, and tells
Adam he was wrong about all the names.
This crap between men and women started a long time ago.
Adam was the first on the scene, so he named everything,
animals, plants, birds, fish, rivers, everything.
And then Eve shows up, looks things over, and tells
Adam he was wrong about all the names.
This crap between men and women started a long time ago.
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A boy was assigned to write a paper on a historical figure.
He spent hours on the Internet, sifting through many sites
with little pertinent information.
When his mom found him staring blankly at the screen,
she asked, "What's the matter?"
"I'm surf-bored!" he replied.
He spent hours on the Internet, sifting through many sites
with little pertinent information.
When his mom found him staring blankly at the screen,
she asked, "What's the matter?"
"I'm surf-bored!" he replied.
