Supposed to rain today...
But not seen any yet...
••
A cool Ride....
••••••
•••
♥
An old guy comes home in the middle of the day,
finds his young blonde wife standing in the
middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a
red G-string, seven-inch steel heels, and the whole
apartment is flooded.
"What happened here?" he asked.
"I think the waterbed busted," said the trembling
wife. Just then a naked guy floated by.
"Who is that?" demanded the husband.
She replied, "I dunno. Must be a lifeguard."
finds his young blonde wife standing in the
middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a
red G-string, seven-inch steel heels, and the whole
apartment is flooded.
"What happened here?" he asked.
"I think the waterbed busted," said the trembling
wife. Just then a naked guy floated by.
"Who is that?" demanded the husband.
She replied, "I dunno. Must be a lifeguard."
••
The young Scottish lad and lassie were seated on a low
stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.
She looked at he and said, "A penny for your thoughts,
Angus."
"Well, uh, Margaret, I was thinkin' ...perhaps it's aboot
time for a wee lil' kiss."
Margaret blushed, but leaned over and kissed Angus lightly
on the cheek.
Angus blushed.
They again gazed out over the loch.
Soon enough, Margaret spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' ...perhaps it's aboot time for me to
put me hand on your leg."
Margaret blushed and nodded demurely. Angus blushed
as he felt her comely leg.
Then they gazed out over the loch some more.
Soon Margaret said, "Another penny for your thoughts,
Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time I felt your
chest."
Margaret blushed and nodded again.
Angus blushed again.
Then they once again gazed over the loch.
Soon, Margaret quietly said, "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."
He looked at her with furrowed brow.
"Well, Margaret, this time me thoughts are more serious."
"Oh?" whispered Margaret, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said Angus, who continued, "Dae ye nae think it's
aboot time ye paid me them first three pennies?"
stone wall, holding hands, gazing out over the loch.
She looked at he and said, "A penny for your thoughts,
Angus."
"Well, uh, Margaret, I was thinkin' ...perhaps it's aboot
time for a wee lil' kiss."
Margaret blushed, but leaned over and kissed Angus lightly
on the cheek.
Angus blushed.
They again gazed out over the loch.
Soon enough, Margaret spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' ...perhaps it's aboot time for me to
put me hand on your leg."
Margaret blushed and nodded demurely. Angus blushed
as he felt her comely leg.
Then they gazed out over the loch some more.
Soon Margaret said, "Another penny for your thoughts,
Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin' perhaps it's aboot time I felt your
chest."
Margaret blushed and nodded again.
Angus blushed again.
Then they once again gazed over the loch.
Soon, Margaret quietly said, "Another penny for your
thoughts, Angus."
He looked at her with furrowed brow.
"Well, Margaret, this time me thoughts are more serious."
"Oh?" whispered Margaret, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said Angus, who continued, "Dae ye nae think it's
aboot time ye paid me them first three pennies?"
••
A woman was on the witness stand,
accused of poisoning her husband.
"After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the
breakfast table and watched your husband drink it.
Tell me, didn't you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?"
the defense attorney prompted.
"Yes," she replied, "I think there was one moment
when I felt sorry for him."
"And when was that?" asked the smug lawyer.
"When he asked for his second cup," replied the
wife.
accused of poisoning her husband.
"After you put poison in the coffee, you sat at the
breakfast table and watched your husband drink it.
Tell me, didn't you feel the slightest bit of pity for him?"
the defense attorney prompted.
"Yes," she replied, "I think there was one moment
when I felt sorry for him."
"And when was that?" asked the smug lawyer.
"When he asked for his second cup," replied the
wife.
••
A man took a ride in a stunt plane.
The pilot dove and spun putting the plane through
the entire repertoire.
When they landed the passenger gasped,
"Thank you for the rides!"
"That was only one ride," said the pilot.
"I'll call it two," said the man.
"My first and my last!"
The pilot dove and spun putting the plane through
the entire repertoire.
When they landed the passenger gasped,
"Thank you for the rides!"
"That was only one ride," said the pilot.
"I'll call it two," said the man.
"My first and my last!"
••
I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim
suit that I had made out of sponges.
I remember one time when I wore it.
When I got out of the swimming pool nobody
could go swimming until I came back.
suit that I had made out of sponges.
I remember one time when I wore it.
When I got out of the swimming pool nobody
could go swimming until I came back.
••
A new survey found that US Airways is the most hated
airline in the country.
Today, US Airways apologized to its passengers — then
charged them a $50 apology fee.
airline in the country.
Today, US Airways apologized to its passengers — then
charged them a $50 apology fee.
••
A man on trial for selling drugs had a neighbor who was
called as a witness.
The defense attorney asked, "Did you ever get any cocaine
or other drugs from the defendant?"
"No, sir," answered the man.
"Did you ever get any from his wife?" asked the attorney.
"No, sir."
"Did you ever get any from his daughters?"
"Uh, excuse me, sir," the witness said, "but we are still
talking about drugs, right?"
called as a witness.
The defense attorney asked, "Did you ever get any cocaine
or other drugs from the defendant?"
"No, sir," answered the man.
"Did you ever get any from his wife?" asked the attorney.
"No, sir."
"Did you ever get any from his daughters?"
"Uh, excuse me, sir," the witness said, "but we are still
talking about drugs, right?"
••
A man in the UK has been accused of hacking into
the PBS website.
That finally answers the question — “who’s the world’s
lamest hacker?”
That finally answers the question — “who’s the world’s
lamest hacker?”
••
I got my dad a new set of golf clubs, a golf bag, some tees
— man, if he ever learns how to play golf, he is set.
— man, if he ever learns how to play golf, he is set.
••
My husband Daniel, had been promoted to a
newly created position.
He was eager to find out what his official title was,
so when his business cards finally arrived, I was
surprised that he seemed reluctant to show me.
After some persuasion, Daniel gave me a card,
naming him director of product efficiency,
"Wow," I responded, "that sounds impressive."
"Not really," Daniel replied as he removed my
thumb from the acroym underneath.
It read DOPE.
newly created position.
He was eager to find out what his official title was,
so when his business cards finally arrived, I was
surprised that he seemed reluctant to show me.
After some persuasion, Daniel gave me a card,
naming him director of product efficiency,
"Wow," I responded, "that sounds impressive."
"Not really," Daniel replied as he removed my
thumb from the acroym underneath.
It read DOPE.
