Hot-Hot day today...
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Having given up smoking two weeks ago,
I decided to take the advice from a health magazine which
suggested starting a hobby, so I started taking pottery
lessons.
And the first thing they taught me to make?...
I decided to take the advice from a health magazine which
suggested starting a hobby, so I started taking pottery
lessons.
And the first thing they taught me to make?...
An ashtray.
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It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were
on edge.
The home team had been the victim of three or four close
calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a
touch-down and a field goal.
When the official called yet another close one in the
visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top.
How many times can you do this to us in a single game?"
he screamed.
"You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong
on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in
the first quarter."
The official just stared.
The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language
that might get him tossed from the game.
"What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!"
The official stared a few more seconds.
Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards,
and put the ball down.
He turned to face the steaming quarterback.
The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"
on edge.
The home team had been the victim of three or four close
calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a
touch-down and a field goal.
When the official called yet another close one in the
visitors' favor, the home quarterback blew his top.
How many times can you do this to us in a single game?"
he screamed.
"You were wrong on the out-of-bounds, you were wrong
on that last first down, and you missed an illegal tackle in
the first quarter."
The official just stared.
The quarterback seethed, but he suppressed the language
that might get him tossed from the game.
"What it comes down to," he bellowed, "is that you STINK!"
The official stared a few more seconds.
Then he bent down, picked up the ball, paced off 15 yards,
and put the ball down.
He turned to face the steaming quarterback.
The official finally replied, "And how do I smell from here?"
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A Lawyer was addressing a doctor in court.
Lawyer: Dr. Kirby, did you say the victim was stabbed in
the jungle?
Doctor Kirby: No, I said he was stabbed in the lumbar
region.
Lawyer: Dr. Kirby, did you say the victim was stabbed in
the jungle?
Doctor Kirby: No, I said he was stabbed in the lumbar
region.
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Next month two men in Oregon plan to travel 400 miles in
two lawn chairs, connected to a bunch of balloons.
Or as North Korea calls that, "the space program."
two lawn chairs, connected to a bunch of balloons.
Or as North Korea calls that, "the space program."
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President Obama is going to let certain illegal immigrants
stay in this country.
But there is an age requirement.
You have to be old enough to vote by November.
stay in this country.
But there is an age requirement.
You have to be old enough to vote by November.
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It's a good thing that the wheel was invented before the
car, otherwise the scraping noise would be awful!
car, otherwise the scraping noise would be awful!
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Republican Senator John McCain and Democrat Harry Reid
have called for the federal government to step in and help
regulate the sport of boxing.
Is that a good idea — something so corrupt and unethical
attempting to regulate something so corrupt and unethical?
have called for the federal government to step in and help
regulate the sport of boxing.
Is that a good idea — something so corrupt and unethical
attempting to regulate something so corrupt and unethical?
••
I admit that I get angry in traffic when driving to work.
But it's pointless.
It's much better to bottle up that anger and then
unleash it when you get to work.
But it's pointless.
It's much better to bottle up that anger and then
unleash it when you get to work.
••
With the current market turmoil, what's the easiest
way to make a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.
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way to make a small fortune?
A: Start off with a large one.
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