Gonna be hot today...
Foggy now....
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There's a rumor going around that suggests President
Obama may legalize marijuana as an October surprise to
win the election.
And if he doesn't win, at least he'll have a way to mellow
out later.
Obama may legalize marijuana as an October surprise to
win the election.
And if he doesn't win, at least he'll have a way to mellow
out later.
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NEWS FLASH!!! California police want to question
president Obama in the death of Steve Jobs!
They believe he is the only suspect in Jobs’ death after
killing so many OTHER jobs in the last 3 years!
president Obama in the death of Steve Jobs!
They believe he is the only suspect in Jobs’ death after
killing so many OTHER jobs in the last 3 years!
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Friends of ours invited the wife and I out to dinner.
Although it turned out to be a topless restaurant, my wife
was a pretty good sport and pretended to enjoy the evening.
On the way home though, even the defrosters at full force
wouldn't keep the windshield from icing over on her side
of the car.
"Awwwww come on" I said..... "It wasn't that bad."
"Your ordering didn't help matters" she said fuming.
"What ?" I replied...... "I only ordered a dozen oysters."
"ONE AT A TIME ?!?!?!" she yelled.
Although it turned out to be a topless restaurant, my wife
was a pretty good sport and pretended to enjoy the evening.
On the way home though, even the defrosters at full force
wouldn't keep the windshield from icing over on her side
of the car.
"Awwwww come on" I said..... "It wasn't that bad."
"Your ordering didn't help matters" she said fuming.
"What ?" I replied...... "I only ordered a dozen oysters."
"ONE AT A TIME ?!?!?!" she yelled.
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After spending 3-1/2 hours enduring the long lines,
surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of
Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for
my son.
I brought my selection, a baseball bat, to the cash register.
"Cash or charge?" the clerk asked.
"Cash," I snapped.
Then apologizing for my rudeness , I explained,
"I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau."
"Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly,
"or are you going back there?"
surly clerks and insane regulations at the Department of
Motor Vehicles, I stopped at a toy store to pick up a gift for
my son.
I brought my selection, a baseball bat, to the cash register.
"Cash or charge?" the clerk asked.
"Cash," I snapped.
Then apologizing for my rudeness , I explained,
"I've spent the afternoon at the motor-vehicle bureau."
"Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerk asked sweetly,
"or are you going back there?"
••
last night I played a blank tape at full blast
the Mime next door went nuts!
last night I played a blank tape at full blast
the Mime next door went nuts!
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As director of a sleep clinic, I was unable to diagnose
the excessive daytime sleepiness of one elderly gentleman.
All his tests were normal.
After several visits, his granddaughter finally offered me
the solution: "My grandpa takes all his pills in the morning
including his sleeping pills."
the excessive daytime sleepiness of one elderly gentleman.
All his tests were normal.
After several visits, his granddaughter finally offered me
the solution: "My grandpa takes all his pills in the morning
including his sleeping pills."
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Why did god create Adam before he created eve?
Because he didn’t want anyone telling him how
Because he didn’t want anyone telling him how
to make Adam.
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In an attempt to keep our rowdy coed health class
focused, our teacher was giving us random facts
about the body's ability to burn calories.
"Kissing," she said, "can burn up to 45 calories."
"Hey," a boy called out, "any of you girls want to
lose weight?
focused, our teacher was giving us random facts
about the body's ability to burn calories.
"Kissing," she said, "can burn up to 45 calories."
"Hey," a boy called out, "any of you girls want to
lose weight?
••
There was a report in the paper today that the city of
Detroit will go broke in two weeks.
Are you surprised by that?
Didn't you think Detroit went broke, like, 10 years ago?
Detroit will go broke in two weeks.
Are you surprised by that?
Didn't you think Detroit went broke, like, 10 years ago?
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It's being reported that more and more elderly people are
being incarcerated in this country than ever before.
Well, of course..... They're easier to catch.
being incarcerated in this country than ever before.
Well, of course..... They're easier to catch.
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