••
••••••
•••
♥
Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of
checks.
checks.
••
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Who knows?..... Who cares?
Who knows?..... Who cares?
••
Mitt Romney's got to think about picking a
vice president pretty soon.
And it's kind of a tough situation because political pundits
say he needs to select a running mate that is duller than he is.
The only problem is that guy is already vice president.
say he needs to select a running mate that is duller than he is.
The only problem is that guy is already vice president.
••
My son said, "Dad, can I have a hamster?"
I said, "No son, we agreed no more pets after the incident with
Goldie."
He said, "I only took him for a walk."
I said, "I know, but fish don't like walking."
I said, "No son, we agreed no more pets after the incident with
Goldie."
He said, "I only took him for a walk."
I said, "I know, but fish don't like walking."
••
An elderly lady went to a law firm to compose a
will.
She asked the attorney how much it would be the
attorney replied $100 so she reached in her purse
and handed him a brand new $100 bill.
After the will was complete and she left he notice
there were actually 2 $100 bills.
He was immediately struck with a morale dilemma.
Should he keep the money or split it with the law
firm....
will.
She asked the attorney how much it would be the
attorney replied $100 so she reached in her purse
and handed him a brand new $100 bill.
After the will was complete and she left he notice
there were actually 2 $100 bills.
He was immediately struck with a morale dilemma.
Should he keep the money or split it with the law
firm....
••
Two pilots are discussing their first check ride.
One pilot says to the other - A check ride ought to be like a skirt:
Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
One pilot says to the other - A check ride ought to be like a skirt:
Short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover everything.
••
sure enough....
"I quit smoking.
I feel better.
I smell better.
And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans
laying around the house."
"I quit smoking.
I feel better.
I smell better.
And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans
laying around the house."
••
Father O'Malley was going through the mail one
day.
Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope,
he found written on it just one word: "FOOL."
The next Sunday at Mass, he announced,
"I have known many people who have written
letters and forgot to sign their names.
But this week I received a letter from someone
who signed their name and forgot to write a letter."
day.
Drawing a single sheet of paper from an envelope,
he found written on it just one word: "FOOL."
The next Sunday at Mass, he announced,
"I have known many people who have written
letters and forgot to sign their names.
But this week I received a letter from someone
who signed their name and forgot to write a letter."
••
It was in the papers earlier that some guy took a huge overdose of
viagra and died after his solo sexual escapade went horribly wrong.
Police said it was so bad that when they found him his whole body
was stiff as a board.
viagra and died after his solo sexual escapade went horribly wrong.
Police said it was so bad that when they found him his whole body
was stiff as a board.
••
