Well...It's Monday... What can I say??
Hope you had a great weekend....
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♥
Jack: How will you recognize a bald eagle?
Jill: All his feathers will be combed over to one side.
Jill: All his feathers will be combed over to one side.
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An important and very well publicized murder trial was soon to
begin.
In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process
took place, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential
jurors.
One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question
session.
He was asked, "Property holder?"
Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor."
Then he was asked, "Married or single?"
Dan responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opinion?"
Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."
begin.
In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process
took place, each side hotly contesting and dismissing potential
jurors.
One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question
session.
He was asked, "Property holder?"
Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor."
Then he was asked, "Married or single?"
Dan responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opinion?"
Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."
••
I said to my doctor, "Would you like to go out for a drink some
time?.... I find you really attractive."
She said, "Sorry, I'd love to, but I can't."
I said, "I understand, it's the doctor/patient thing, isn't it?"
"No, it's not that." She replied.... "I've just got your test results."
time?.... I find you really attractive."
She said, "Sorry, I'd love to, but I can't."
I said, "I understand, it's the doctor/patient thing, isn't it?"
"No, it's not that." She replied.... "I've just got your test results."
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My dog's a chemist
He can turn H2O into K9P.
He can turn H2O into K9P.
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Over the hill?
"LOL" means something different to us -
it means "Living on Lipitor".
BTW - bring the wheelchair
BYOT - bring your own teeth
DWI - driving while incontinent
FWIW - Forgot where I was
FYI - found your insulin
IMHO - is my hearing aid on?
OMSG - oh my! sorry, gas.
TOT - texting on toilet
and
GGLKI - gotta go - laxative kicking in!
"LOL" means something different to us -
it means "Living on Lipitor".
BTW - bring the wheelchair
BYOT - bring your own teeth
DWI - driving while incontinent
FWIW - Forgot where I was
FYI - found your insulin
IMHO - is my hearing aid on?
OMSG - oh my! sorry, gas.
TOT - texting on toilet
and
GGLKI - gotta go - laxative kicking in!
••
Diplomacy is saying "nice doggy"
until you find a rock.
until you find a rock.
••
When a passenger airplane encountered some
turbulence, it started juddering and rocking
noticeably from side to side.
In a bid to keep the passengers calm, the flight
attendant wheeled out the drinks trolley.
"Would you like a drink?" she asked a
businessman.
"Why not?" he replied caustically.
"I'll have whatever the pilot's been having."
turbulence, it started juddering and rocking
noticeably from side to side.
In a bid to keep the passengers calm, the flight
attendant wheeled out the drinks trolley.
"Would you like a drink?" she asked a
businessman.
"Why not?" he replied caustically.
"I'll have whatever the pilot's been having."
••
What has four legs and an arm?
A happy pitbull.
A happy pitbull.
••
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a
kick in the pants......
kick in the pants......
