••
••••••
•••
♥
Cop: "We arrested this man beating the living
daylights out of some poor guy for no reason at
all.
What should we charge him with?"
Desk sergeant: "Impersonating a police officer."
daylights out of some poor guy for no reason at
all.
What should we charge him with?"
Desk sergeant: "Impersonating a police officer."
••
During his fourth week of basic training, my
grandson was able to make a brief phone call to
me.
He said he was attending church on base every
week, which I was pleased to hear.
"Everyone goes to church here," he added.
"It's the only place we don't get yelled at."
grandson was able to make a brief phone call to
me.
He said he was attending church on base every
week, which I was pleased to hear.
"Everyone goes to church here," he added.
"It's the only place we don't get yelled at."
••
Haha. Banks are so stupid...
They're loaning me more money.
I guess they haven't heard of the Mayan
calendar.
They're loaning me more money.
I guess they haven't heard of the Mayan
calendar.
••
The parents of an 8-year-old boy who was away
at camp fo the first time had not heard from
him.
So they finally telephoned their son and were
both relieved—but also disappointed to discover
that he hadn’t missed them at all.
“Have any of the other kids gotten homesick?”
inquired the mother.
The boy replied, “Only the kids who have dogs.”
at camp fo the first time had not heard from
him.
So they finally telephoned their son and were
both relieved—but also disappointed to discover
that he hadn’t missed them at all.
“Have any of the other kids gotten homesick?”
inquired the mother.
The boy replied, “Only the kids who have dogs.”
••
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can
actually alter your DNA.
Decades from now your descendants will
occasionally clutch their heads and yell
"What The Hell was That?"
actually alter your DNA.
Decades from now your descendants will
occasionally clutch their heads and yell
"What The Hell was That?"
••
Mayor Bloomberg has outlawed giant cans of soda.
I saw a guy today walking down the street and a cop is arresting
him because he's got a huge can of soda, and he said
"No, no, this is medicinal Mountain Dew."
I saw a guy today walking down the street and a cop is arresting
him because he's got a huge can of soda, and he said
"No, no, this is medicinal Mountain Dew."
••
A young banker decided to get his first tailor
made suit.
So he went to the finest tailor in town and got
measured for a suit.
A week later he went in for his first fitting.
He put on the suit and he looked stunning,
he felt that in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror
he reached down to put his hands in the pockets
and to his surprise he noticed that there were no
pockets.
He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him,
"Didn't you tell me you were a banker?"
The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a
banker with his hands in his own pockets?"
made suit.
So he went to the finest tailor in town and got
measured for a suit.
A week later he went in for his first fitting.
He put on the suit and he looked stunning,
he felt that in this suit he can do business.
As he was preening himself in front of the mirror
he reached down to put his hands in the pockets
and to his surprise he noticed that there were no
pockets.
He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him,
"Didn't you tell me you were a banker?"
The young man answered, "Yes, I did."
To this the tailor said, "Who ever heard of a
banker with his hands in his own pockets?"
••
For the first time ever, more than half of all
senior citizens in the U.S. are using the Internet.
Or as AOL put it, “We’re back, baby!”
senior citizens in the U.S. are using the Internet.
Or as AOL put it, “We’re back, baby!”
That’s right, half of all senior citizens are using
the Internet.
Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the
entire story to me in the subject line of an email.
the Internet.
Yeah, I read that when my grandma sent the
entire story to me in the subject line of an email.
•••••••••
