Doc sez heartstill pumping..
So I'm good to go!
••
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♥
A man is sitting in a restaurant and cannot make
up his mind which soup to order.
He finally says to the patient waiter, "I think I will
have the chicken soup".
The waiter takes the order & is on the way to the
kitchen, when the man changes his mind to pea
soup.
He yells to the waiter "Hold the chicken,
make it pea!"
up his mind which soup to order.
He finally says to the patient waiter, "I think I will
have the chicken soup".
The waiter takes the order & is on the way to the
kitchen, when the man changes his mind to pea
soup.
He yells to the waiter "Hold the chicken,
make it pea!"
••
Last month, President Obama made a surprise visit
to Afghanistan.
It wasn't half as big a surprise as last year's Navy
Seals surprise visit to Pakistan, but it was
important enough.
to Afghanistan.
It wasn't half as big a surprise as last year's Navy
Seals surprise visit to Pakistan, but it was
important enough.
••
A young guy went to the office of an insurance
company to purchase insurance coverage for his
new Royal Enfield motorcycle.
When asked if he had a lien holder on the
motorcycle, he was confused.
"I've got a kickstand," the young guy replied.
"Is that the same thing?"
company to purchase insurance coverage for his
new Royal Enfield motorcycle.
When asked if he had a lien holder on the
motorcycle, he was confused.
"I've got a kickstand," the young guy replied.
"Is that the same thing?"
••
A man goes to his doctor and complains that he is
unable to do small household chores the way he
could do earlier.
The doctor took some time examining him, and
the man said impatiently, "Tell me doctor, in
layman terms, what the hell is wrong with me."
"Fine, in layman terms," the doctor replied,
"you are suffering from laziness.
You are simply lazy."
"All right doctor," said the man.
"Now tell me the medical jargon for it, so I can
impress my wife."
unable to do small household chores the way he
could do earlier.
The doctor took some time examining him, and
the man said impatiently, "Tell me doctor, in
layman terms, what the hell is wrong with me."
"Fine, in layman terms," the doctor replied,
"you are suffering from laziness.
You are simply lazy."
"All right doctor," said the man.
"Now tell me the medical jargon for it, so I can
impress my wife."
••
There is a pair of Chartered Accountants who
decide to tie the knot.
During the marriage ceremony, the wife vomits a
few times.
The Husband asks her what is wrong.
The wife replies - It's only a Capital gain arising out
of a previous partnership.
decide to tie the knot.
During the marriage ceremony, the wife vomits a
few times.
The Husband asks her what is wrong.
The wife replies - It's only a Capital gain arising out
of a previous partnership.
••
I was at the pool yesterday and tried to sneak a
quick pee in the deep end.
The lifeguard must have seen me.
He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
quick pee in the deep end.
The lifeguard must have seen me.
He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.
••
Officer to driver going the wrong way up a one
way street.
"And where do you think you are going?"
Driver: "I'm not sure, but I must be late as
everyone else is coming back."
way street.
"And where do you think you are going?"
Driver: "I'm not sure, but I must be late as
everyone else is coming back."
••
I like driving around with my two dogs,
especiallly on the freeways.
I make them wear little hats so I can use the
car-pool lanes.
especiallly on the freeways.
I make them wear little hats so I can use the
car-pool lanes.
••
Recently, I bought a cartridge for my printer.
It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped
in plastic.
When I took it apart, I found that the printer
cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they
made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it
harder to steal and to make the customer feel
better about the high price.
I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how
my weight gain over the years of our marriage
It came in a box mounted on a card and wrapped
in plastic.
When I took it apart, I found that the printer
cartridge itself was actually quite small, but they
made the packaging unnecessarily large to make it
harder to steal and to make the customer feel
better about the high price.
I pointed this out to my wife and mentioned how
my weight gain over the years of our marriage
should have the same effect: It made me seem more
valuable and also made me harder for other
women to steal.
She's still laughing.
valuable and also made me harder for other
women to steal.
She's still laughing.
