Hump day it is....
••
••••••••••
••••••
•••
♥
The Secret Service scandal was discovered when a
disagreement on how much a prostitute wanted
for her services came to light.
She wanted $800.00.
The Secret Service Agent offered $30.00.
How ironic is it that the only person in Washington
willing to cut spending gets fired?
disagreement on how much a prostitute wanted
for her services came to light.
She wanted $800.00.
The Secret Service Agent offered $30.00.
How ironic is it that the only person in Washington
willing to cut spending gets fired?
••
In a new interview, Vice President Joe Biden said
the sitcom "Will & Grace" made America more
comfortable with gay people.
Biden also said the sitcom character Urkel made
America more comfortable with President Obama.
the sitcom "Will & Grace" made America more
comfortable with gay people.
Biden also said the sitcom character Urkel made
America more comfortable with President Obama.
••
A teacher was giving a talk on company slogans
and was asking his students if they were familiar
with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan,
'Come fly the friendly skies'?"
Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the
slogan, 'Don't leave home without it'?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company
with no difficulty.
"Now Johnny, tell me which company bears the
slogan, 'Just do it'?"
And Little Jonny answered, "Mom."
and was asking his students if they were familiar
with them.
"Joe," he asked, "which company has the slogan,
'Come fly the friendly skies'?"
Joe answered the correct airline.
"Brenda, can you tell me which company has the
slogan, 'Don't leave home without it'?"
Brenda answered the correct credit card company
with no difficulty.
"Now Johnny, tell me which company bears the
slogan, 'Just do it'?"
And Little Jonny answered, "Mom."
••
The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came
running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy!
She said, "I have some really great news!"
I said, "Great.
Tell me why you're so happy" She stopped jumping
and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and
down, told me that she was pregnant.
I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her,
"That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!'
Then she said, "There's more"
I asked, "What do you mean there's more?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby.
We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after
getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part.
I went to Sam's Club and they actually had a
home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack.
Both tests came out positive.
running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy!
She said, "I have some really great news!"
I said, "Great.
Tell me why you're so happy" She stopped jumping
and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and
down, told me that she was pregnant.
I knew she'd been trying for a while so I told her,
"That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!'
Then she said, "There's more"
I asked, "What do you mean there's more?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby.
We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after
getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part.
I went to Sam's Club and they actually had a
home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack.
Both tests came out positive.
••
One thing that puzzles me greatly.
Most of the people who complain about the
redistribution of wealth have no wealth to
redistribute.
I certainly don't have a wealth to redistribute...
But I'm not complaining either.
Most of the people who complain about the
redistribution of wealth have no wealth to
redistribute.
I certainly don't have a wealth to redistribute...
But I'm not complaining either.
••
During a pause in the service the elder leaned over
and whispered to the minister: "Remember you
were going to say something about the high cost
of living."
I haven't forgotten," said the minister.
"I'll speak of that as soon as the collection has
been taken up."
and whispered to the minister: "Remember you
were going to say something about the high cost
of living."
I haven't forgotten," said the minister.
"I'll speak of that as soon as the collection has
been taken up."
••
A lawyer needed a secretary, so he came up with
a test to find the best one.
He put $5,000 dollars in cash on his desk to
tempt the prospective candidate to steal some
while he stepped out of the interview.
This way he can find out who was the most honest
and who was the most dishonest candidate.
During the first interview he stepped out and the
woman took $20.
During the second interview he stepped out and
the woman took $150.
During the third interview he stepped out and the
woman took $1,000.
Which woman did he decide to hire?
The one with the biggest boobs!!!
a test to find the best one.
He put $5,000 dollars in cash on his desk to
tempt the prospective candidate to steal some
while he stepped out of the interview.
This way he can find out who was the most honest
and who was the most dishonest candidate.
During the first interview he stepped out and the
woman took $20.
During the second interview he stepped out and
the woman took $150.
During the third interview he stepped out and the
woman took $1,000.
Which woman did he decide to hire?
The one with the biggest boobs!!!
••
Did you know that the colour's red, white & blue
represent freedom until they are flashing behind
you?
represent freedom until they are flashing behind
you?
