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♥
Gus decided to get rid of some old furnishings
by placing them on the front lawn with a
"Free to Take" sign.
Many of the items were quickly claimed, until
someone took the sign itself.
by placing them on the front lawn with a
"Free to Take" sign.
Many of the items were quickly claimed, until
someone took the sign itself.
••
After standing in line at the DMV for what felt like
eons, Gus finally got to the counter.
As the clerk typed his name into the computer,
she said, "That's odd."
"What's wrong?" Gus asked.
"My computer says you're deceased."
Surveying his surroundings, Gus muttered, "Great."
"I died and went to hell."
eons, Gus finally got to the counter.
As the clerk typed his name into the computer,
she said, "That's odd."
"What's wrong?" Gus asked.
"My computer says you're deceased."
Surveying his surroundings, Gus muttered, "Great."
"I died and went to hell."
••
My wife turned to me during her mothers funeral
and hissed "when we get home later, I'm going to
make you pay for this".
For the life of me I couldn't think of what I had
done wrong.
Maybe it's because I wasn't sharing my popcorn.
and hissed "when we get home later, I'm going to
make you pay for this".
For the life of me I couldn't think of what I had
done wrong.
Maybe it's because I wasn't sharing my popcorn.
••
A man is walking down the street and sees a big
crowd gathered under a tall building.
Everyone is looking up.
The man looks up at the building.
He looks at all the windows, to see if anyone is
about to jump, he looks for fire. he looks for
anything, but everything seems ok.
He looks around in the sky, but still just can't
find what exactly it is that such a large crowd is
looking at.
He approach a man in the crowd and asks
"excuse me sir, but what are we all looking at?"
The man says "all these people, I don't know...
me, my nose is bleeding and I'm trying to stop it
from running!"
crowd gathered under a tall building.
Everyone is looking up.
The man looks up at the building.
He looks at all the windows, to see if anyone is
about to jump, he looks for fire. he looks for
anything, but everything seems ok.
He looks around in the sky, but still just can't
find what exactly it is that such a large crowd is
looking at.
He approach a man in the crowd and asks
"excuse me sir, but what are we all looking at?"
The man says "all these people, I don't know...
me, my nose is bleeding and I'm trying to stop it
from running!"
••
The Teacher (During an exam): "Johnny, I hope
I didnt see you looking at Annie's paper...
Johnny: "I hope you didn't either...."
I didnt see you looking at Annie's paper...
Johnny: "I hope you didn't either...."
••
Mental asylum ....
Patient: "my wife thinks I am crazy because I love
sausages."
doctor: "Nonsense, I don't see what's wrong with
liking any type of food.
It's your personnal choice"
Patient: "Great, that's what I thought.
I mean, you should see my collection,
Ive got big ones, small ones, spicy, mild, I wear
them sometimes.
I've got them in the car, on the TV, I even..."
Patient: "my wife thinks I am crazy because I love
sausages."
doctor: "Nonsense, I don't see what's wrong with
liking any type of food.
It's your personnal choice"
Patient: "Great, that's what I thought.
I mean, you should see my collection,
Ive got big ones, small ones, spicy, mild, I wear
them sometimes.
I've got them in the car, on the TV, I even..."
••
A psychiatrist walks into a room full of
schizophrenics.
He sits down to one of them and asks, "you seem
sane, so tell me why are you in here?"
"I am sane, I do not know why I am here" said
the man.
"and what is your name?" asks the doctor.
"Napoleone Bonaparte.
I am going to revolutionise the french nation!"
"And how do you know this?" asks the doctor.
"God told me" He says.
then a voice from somewhere in the back of the
room cries out "NO, I didnt!!"
schizophrenics.
He sits down to one of them and asks, "you seem
sane, so tell me why are you in here?"
"I am sane, I do not know why I am here" said
the man.
"and what is your name?" asks the doctor.
"Napoleone Bonaparte.
I am going to revolutionise the french nation!"
"And how do you know this?" asks the doctor.
"God told me" He says.
then a voice from somewhere in the back of the
room cries out "NO, I didnt!!"
