••
••••••••••••
••••••
•••
♥
Sue said:
To confirm her suspicions, my sister needed to
purchase a pregnancy test.
Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me
to pick one up.
I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk
when I waddled up nine months pregnant, to pay
for the kit.
"Honey," she said. "I can save you $15 right now.
You're definitely going to have a baby."
To confirm her suspicions, my sister needed to
purchase a pregnancy test.
Since I was going to the pharmacy, she asked me
to pick one up.
I didn't stop to think how I appeared to the clerk
when I waddled up nine months pregnant, to pay
for the kit.
"Honey," she said. "I can save you $15 right now.
You're definitely going to have a baby."
••
Because they have to pay for their own uniforms,
the nurses in Sweden are threatening to come to
work naked.
That's going to be a very long strike.
the nurses in Sweden are threatening to come to
work naked.
That's going to be a very long strike.
••
A helicopter carrying passengers suddenly looses
engine power and the aircraft begins to decent.
The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in
water, and tells the passengers to remain seated
and to keep the doors closed, stating that in
emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to
stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to
get to them.
Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over
to open the door.
The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what
I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as
long as the doors remain closed?!".
"Of course I heard you", the man replied,
"but it's also designed to fly, and look how good
that one worked out!!"
engine power and the aircraft begins to decent.
The pilot safely performs an emergency landing in
water, and tells the passengers to remain seated
and to keep the doors closed, stating that in
emergency situations, the aircraft is designed to
stay afloat for 30 minutes, giving rescuers time to
get to them.
Just then a man gets out if his seat and runs over
to open the door.
The pilots screams at him, "Didn't you hear what
I said, the aircraft is designed to stay afloat as
long as the doors remain closed?!".
"Of course I heard you", the man replied,
"but it's also designed to fly, and look how good
that one worked out!!"
••
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen,
“Hey, Mom,” he asked, “can you give me twenty
dollars?”
"Certainly not!” answered his mother.”
If you do,” Little Johnny went on, “I’ll tell you
what dad said to the maid when you were at the
beauty shop.”
His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her
purse, she handed over the money.
“Well? what did he say?”
"He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen,
“Hey, Mom,” he asked, “can you give me twenty
dollars?”
"Certainly not!” answered his mother.”
If you do,” Little Johnny went on, “I’ll tell you
what dad said to the maid when you were at the
beauty shop.”
His mother’s ears perked up and, grabbing her
purse, she handed over the money.
“Well? what did he say?”
"He said, 'Hey, Juanita, make sure you wash my
socks tomorrow"
••
My wife tells me I'm a skeptic - but I don't believe
a word she says......
My wife tells me I'm a skeptic - but I don't believe
a word she says......
••
Every Monday morning for years, at about 11:30
am, the telephone operator in a small
Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man
asking the exact time.
One day the operator summed-up the nerve to
ask him why the regularity.
“I’m foreman of the local sawmill,” he explained.
“Every day, I have to blow the whistle at noon,
so I call you to get the exact time.”
The operator giggled, “That’s really funny,”
she said.
“All this time, we’ve been setting our clock by
your whistle.
am, the telephone operator in a small
Sierra-Nevada town received a call from a man
asking the exact time.
One day the operator summed-up the nerve to
ask him why the regularity.
“I’m foreman of the local sawmill,” he explained.
“Every day, I have to blow the whistle at noon,
so I call you to get the exact time.”
The operator giggled, “That’s really funny,”
she said.
“All this time, we’ve been setting our clock by
your whistle.
••
Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
••
A woman came to her doctor in a panic.
"Doctor, all day long my daughter eats yeast and
car wax, and won't get out of bed!
What will happen to her?"
"Don't worry," said the Doctor,
"eventually she will rise and shine."
"Doctor, all day long my daughter eats yeast and
car wax, and won't get out of bed!
What will happen to her?"
"Don't worry," said the Doctor,
"eventually she will rise and shine."
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