Every one feeling okay??
Have a great day...
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♥
Every year on their wedding anniversary my boss,
Chuck, and his wife celebrated by staying at the
same resort hotel.
On their 25th anniversary they booked their usual
room.
But when the hotel’s bell captain escorted them
upstairs, they were in for a big surprise.
“There must be some mistake,” Chuck said.
“This looks like the bridal suite.”
“It’s okay,” the bell captain reassured him.
“If I put you in the ballroom, that doesn’t mean
you have to dance.”
Chuck, and his wife celebrated by staying at the
same resort hotel.
On their 25th anniversary they booked their usual
room.
But when the hotel’s bell captain escorted them
upstairs, they were in for a big surprise.
“There must be some mistake,” Chuck said.
“This looks like the bridal suite.”
“It’s okay,” the bell captain reassured him.
“If I put you in the ballroom, that doesn’t mean
you have to dance.”
••
Every time someone predicts the date of the end
of the world, God pushes the date back a little just
to be funny.
of the world, God pushes the date back a little just
to be funny.
••
Sam : You know what, it's really easy to get a
divorce in the Middle East.
A man is just required to say "I divorce you" to his
wife 3 times and it's done!
Gus : It's even easier in the US. All a man has to
say is "Yeah, that dress makes your butt look fat"
once.
divorce in the Middle East.
A man is just required to say "I divorce you" to his
wife 3 times and it's done!
Gus : It's even easier in the US. All a man has to
say is "Yeah, that dress makes your butt look fat"
once.
••
They sell book lights now, a little spotlight you
attach to your book.
You know, I actually thought about buying one of
these, and then I remembered, I own a lamp.
attach to your book.
You know, I actually thought about buying one of
these, and then I remembered, I own a lamp.
••
The shipwrecked mariner had spent several years
on a deserted island.
Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship
offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward
him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer
in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle
of newspapers and told him, “The captain said to
read through these and let us know if you still
want to be rescued.”
on a deserted island.
Then one morning he was thrilled to see a ship
offshore and a smaller vessel pulling out toward
him.
When the boat grounded on the beach, the officer
in charge handed the marooned sailor a bundle
of newspapers and told him, “The captain said to
read through these and let us know if you still
want to be rescued.”
••
The teacher was discussing natural history with
her class of eight-year old kids.
She began by saying, "Do you know Worker ants
can carry food particles that are five times their
own weight.
What is to be learnt from this?"
A kid raised his hand and replied:
"They don't have a union."
her class of eight-year old kids.
She began by saying, "Do you know Worker ants
can carry food particles that are five times their
own weight.
What is to be learnt from this?"
A kid raised his hand and replied:
"They don't have a union."
Gus had planned on watching the football game
with his friend Harry.
with his friend Harry.
••
Gus arrived late and the game had already started.
Harry asked him, "What kept you?"
Gus replied, "I could not make up my mind
between going to church and going to the football
game.
So I tossed a coin."
"So what took you so long?" asked Harry.
Gus answered,"I had to toss it 40 times."
Gus arrived late and the game had already started.
Harry asked him, "What kept you?"
Gus replied, "I could not make up my mind
between going to church and going to the football
game.
So I tossed a coin."
"So what took you so long?" asked Harry.
Gus answered,"I had to toss it 40 times."
••
I just got back from Portland, Oregon.
Portland, of course, is a very progressive city,
one that does not spay or neuter its hippie
population.
So there is an overabundance.
Portland, of course, is a very progressive city,
one that does not spay or neuter its hippie
population.
So there is an overabundance.
••
Biblical Puns.....
Q: What was the secret of Delilah getting into
Samson's house?
A: She picked his locks.
Q: Why didn't Pharaoh let the Israelites go into
the wilderness after the first six plagues?
A: He was in de Nile.
Q: Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with
Delilah?
A: He didn't want to split hairs.
Q: What was the secret of Delilah getting into
Samson's house?
A: She picked his locks.
Q: Why didn't Pharaoh let the Israelites go into
the wilderness after the first six plagues?
A: He was in de Nile.
Q: Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with
Delilah?
A: He didn't want to split hairs.
••
Four-year-old Little Johnny asked, "Mummy,
where do babies come from?"
"The stork, dear." replied Johnny's Mom.
"Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing
our house?" asked Little Johnny.
Johnny's mother answer, "The police, dear."
"Mummy, if our house was on fire, who would
save us?"
"The fire department, dear."
"Mummy, where does food come from?"
"Farmers, dear."
"Mummy?"
"Yes, dear?"
"What do we need Daddy for?"
where do babies come from?"
"The stork, dear." replied Johnny's Mom.
"Mummy, who keeps bad people from robbing
our house?" asked Little Johnny.
Johnny's mother answer, "The police, dear."
"Mummy, if our house was on fire, who would
save us?"
"The fire department, dear."
"Mummy, where does food come from?"
"Farmers, dear."
"Mummy?"
"Yes, dear?"
"What do we need Daddy for?"
