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I took my 12-year-old son camping last weekend.
As we sat around the fire he said, "Dad, I gotta go
poop."
"Go then," I said.
"That's the beauty of camping, you can shit
anywhere you want and you won't get in trouble."
He walked off and came back a few minutes later.
"Where did you go?" I asked.
He said, "In your car."
As we sat around the fire he said, "Dad, I gotta go
poop."
"Go then," I said.
"That's the beauty of camping, you can shit
anywhere you want and you won't get in trouble."
He walked off and came back a few minutes later.
"Where did you go?" I asked.
He said, "In your car."
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I was driving home yesterday and heard on the
radio that a cow has four different stomach
compartments.
I pictured the wife and thought....... Well...
that solves the mystery of "where does she put it all?"
radio that a cow has four different stomach
compartments.
I pictured the wife and thought....... Well...
that solves the mystery of "where does she put it all?"
••
A man went to a medical clinic for an
electrocardiogram.
While the technician was lining up her machine,
he told her he has dextrocardia.
"What's that?" she asked.
"It means my heart is on the right side of my chest
rather than on the left," he answered.
"You should set up your machine to accommodate
that."
As she attached the wires, she asked casually,
"Tell me, have you had that for long?
electrocardiogram.
While the technician was lining up her machine,
he told her he has dextrocardia.
"What's that?" she asked.
"It means my heart is on the right side of my chest
rather than on the left," he answered.
"You should set up your machine to accommodate
that."
As she attached the wires, she asked casually,
"Tell me, have you had that for long?
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What will today’s younger generation tell their
children they had to do “without”?
children they had to do “without”?
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A guy walks into a bar with a small dog.
The bartender says, "Get out of here with that
dog!"
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog...
this dog can play the piano!"
The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that
piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on
the house!"
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and
the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart... and
the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small
dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all
about?"
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother.
She wanted him to be a doctor."
A guy walks into a bar with a small dog.
The bartender says, "Get out of here with that
dog!"
The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog...
this dog can play the piano!"
The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that
piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on
the house!"
So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and
the dog starts playing. Ragtime, Mozart... and
the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.
Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small
dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.
The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all
about?"
The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother.
She wanted him to be a doctor."
••
Virgin Atlantic announced that on a select number
of flights, passengers will be able to use their
cellphones to make calls.
I think I would honestly rather they filled the
plane with killer bees than allow this.
of flights, passengers will be able to use their
cellphones to make calls.
I think I would honestly rather they filled the
plane with killer bees than allow this.
Only six passengers will be allowed to make calls
at one time, which seems like too many.
But Virgin said it will only be used for important
calls, like calling to say, "Guess where I'm calling
from.
Yeah, the plane.
I'm calling from the plane."
at one time, which seems like too many.
But Virgin said it will only be used for important
calls, like calling to say, "Guess where I'm calling
from.
Yeah, the plane.
I'm calling from the plane."
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John said, "I'm a man of few words."
Bill said, "Yup, I'm married, too."
Bill said, "Yup, I'm married, too."
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