Good Morning, Friends....
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"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his
friends insisted that nothing had happened that
could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a VERY big
sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky
turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep,
booming voice intoned......
"HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the
other three, and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis,
"now it's 3 to 2."
friends insisted that nothing had happened that
could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a VERY big
sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky
turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep,
booming voice intoned......
"HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the
other three, and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis,
"now it's 3 to 2."
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In about 50 years, Robots will be doing most of
the work which human do not like to do; especially
illegal robots from Mexico.
the work which human do not like to do; especially
illegal robots from Mexico.
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I’ve discovered the whole problem with the
National Debt.
Most of us work 5 days a week and the
government spends 7 .
National Debt.
Most of us work 5 days a week and the
government spends 7 .
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"Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy
tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered.
"Some begin with If I am elected."
tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "
"No, sweetheart," he answered.
"Some begin with If I am elected."
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Golf Ethics............
What if you were playing in the club championship
tournament finals and the match was halved at
the end of 17 holes.
You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two
hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway,
leaving a simple six iron to the pin.
Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep
into the woods to the right of the fairway.
Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help
your opponent look for his ball.
Just before the permitted five minute search period
ends, your opponent says: "Go ahead and hit your
second shot and if I don't find it in time, I'll
concede the match."
You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping
about ten feet from the pin.
About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear
your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods:
"I found it!".
The second sound you hear is a click, the sound
of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing
out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping
no more than six inches from the hole.
Now the real "what if" in this story......
What if you had your opponent's ball in your
pocket?
What if you were playing in the club championship
tournament finals and the match was halved at
the end of 17 holes.
You had the honor and hit your ball a modest two
hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway,
leaving a simple six iron to the pin.
Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it deep
into the woods to the right of the fairway.
Being the golfing gentleman that you are, you help
your opponent look for his ball.
Just before the permitted five minute search period
ends, your opponent says: "Go ahead and hit your
second shot and if I don't find it in time, I'll
concede the match."
You hit your ball, landing it on the green, stopping
about ten feet from the pin.
About the time your ball comes to rest, you hear
your opponent exclaim from deep in the woods:
"I found it!".
The second sound you hear is a click, the sound
of a club striking a ball and the ball comes sailing
out of the woods and lands on the green, stopping
no more than six inches from the hole.
Now the real "what if" in this story......
What if you had your opponent's ball in your
pocket?
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Bumper Sticker: Excuse me for driving so closely
in front of you.
in front of you.
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Me and the wife were going out for the night and
she'd been in the bathroom 2 hours when she
called me, and asked; "Be honest do I look fat in
this.?
I looked at her and replied "to be honest love its a
small bathroom".
she'd been in the bathroom 2 hours when she
called me, and asked; "Be honest do I look fat in
this.?
I looked at her and replied "to be honest love its a
small bathroom".
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A proud Texan farmer goes to Australia for a
vacation.
While there, he meets Aussie farmer and the two
start talking.
The Aussie shows the Texan his big wheat field
and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields
that are at least twice as large as yours".
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the
Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns
that are at least twice as large as your cows".
At this point, the conversation had almost ground
to a halt when the Texan suddently saw a herd of
kangaroos hopping through the field.
He asks, "Hey, what are those"?
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
vacation.
While there, he meets Aussie farmer and the two
start talking.
The Aussie shows the Texan his big wheat field
and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields
that are at least twice as large as yours".
Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the
Aussie shows off his herd of cattle.
The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns
that are at least twice as large as your cows".
At this point, the conversation had almost ground
to a halt when the Texan suddently saw a herd of
kangaroos hopping through the field.
He asks, "Hey, what are those"?
The Aussie replies with an incredulous look,
"Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
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