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An overweight man suspected that his thyroid was
the cause of his excess poundage.
He went to a doctor for tests.
After running all of the appropriate tests, the
doctor told his patient.
"Your thyroid test was normal, but you're
suffering from an overactive fork."
the cause of his excess poundage.
He went to a doctor for tests.
After running all of the appropriate tests, the
doctor told his patient.
"Your thyroid test was normal, but you're
suffering from an overactive fork."
••
80 y/o man goes to doc.
Doc: "What's the matter?"
Man: "Doc, I can't pee."
Doc: "How old are you?"
Man: "80".
Doc: "You've peed enough"
Doc: "What's the matter?"
Man: "Doc, I can't pee."
Doc: "How old are you?"
Man: "80".
Doc: "You've peed enough"
••
The linguist's husband walked in and caught
his wife sleeping with a young co-ed.
He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised."
She bolted upright, pointed her finger and
corrected him, "No. I am surprised.
You are astonished."
his wife sleeping with a young co-ed.
He said, "Why, Susan, I'm surprised."
She bolted upright, pointed her finger and
corrected him, "No. I am surprised.
You are astonished."
••
Pizza Hut is now offering a pizza covered with
cheeseburgers.
Finally, for those of us who can still sort of feel
our skeletal structure, we get pizza with
cheeseburgers.
cheeseburgers.
Finally, for those of us who can still sort of feel
our skeletal structure, we get pizza with
cheeseburgers.
••
The father of five children had won a toy at a
raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one
should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.
"Who never talks back to Mother?
Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in union.
"Okay, Dad. You get the toy."
raffle.
He called his kids together to ask which one
should have the present.
"Who is the most obedient?" he asked.
"Who never talks back to Mother?
Who does everything she says?"
Five small voices answered in union.
"Okay, Dad. You get the toy."
••
"So Bob what did you get for Christmas?"
Then Bob says to Dan,
Then Bob says to Dan,
"Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!!!"
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Dan says, "OOOOH WOW!!!"
Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
••
A racehorse owner was furious with his jockey
after the Horse he rode came in dead last.
"Couldn't you have raced any faster?" he raged.
"Sure I could have," answered the jockey.
"But you know we're supposed to stay on the
Horse."
after the Horse he rode came in dead last.
"Couldn't you have raced any faster?" he raged.
"Sure I could have," answered the jockey.
"But you know we're supposed to stay on the
Horse."
••
Edwin and Cheryl had married under none too
happy circumstances, and their married life had
not been anything to brag about either.
But when, after they had lived together for
thirty-five years, Edwin went to the local judge to
ask for an annulment, the whole town of
Middleton gasped with amazement.
A date for the hearing was set.
However, when the time came, the judge
demanded to know the grounds on which Edwin
based his demand for an annulment.
"It's like this, your Honor," answered Edwin.
"I've just learned that Cheryl's father never had a
license to carry a gun."
happy circumstances, and their married life had
not been anything to brag about either.
But when, after they had lived together for
thirty-five years, Edwin went to the local judge to
ask for an annulment, the whole town of
Middleton gasped with amazement.
A date for the hearing was set.
However, when the time came, the judge
demanded to know the grounds on which Edwin
based his demand for an annulment.
"It's like this, your Honor," answered Edwin.
"I've just learned that Cheryl's father never had a
license to carry a gun."
