Well, it's Memorial day weekend...
The unofficial start of summer here....
And it's gonna be a heat wave...Hot-Hot..
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This is not Awesome.....
Someone is mighty sleepy....
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A Pakistani doctor who helped the CIA hunt for Osama bin Laden
has been convicted of high treason in Pakistan. He was sentenced to 33 years in prison for helping us.
Think how much worse the sentence would have been if Pakistan
wasn't our ally.
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So Moses is up on Mount Sinai and he says to God, "God,
do I have a pounding headache!"And God says, "Here, take these two tablets."
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A new report just came out and it claims that good cholesterol
may not be as beneficial as previously thought. This is really bad news for Domino's new good-cholesterol-stuffed
pizza.
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The Miss Universe pageant was last weekend and the transgender
Miss Canada did not win. Apparently judges were not impressed by her talent —
having an Adam's apple.
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A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a
small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar.
As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke
rings.
After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry
American Indian stomped up to him and said, "One more remark
like that and I'll smash your face in!"
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After months of searching, I finally got a job!
It is in a call center. I'm excited to finally get a job.
However, I'm not sure if I can handle the commute.
India is pretty far from my house.
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A man asked his neighbor, who had just returned from a weekend
outdoors, "Did you fish with flies?" "Fish with them?" he asked, "We fished with them, camped with
them, ate with them, and slept with them.."
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The aged patient doddered into the doctor's office with a serious
complaint. "Doc, you've got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now Mr. Hey," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in
your head."
"Thats what I mean, you've got to lower it a little."
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Only six passengers will be allowed to make calls
at one time, which seems like too many. But Virgin said it will only be used for important
calls, like calling to say, "Guess where I'm calling
from.
Yeah, the plane.
I'm calling from the plane."
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Gore and his girlfriend were spotted taking long
walks on the beach, measuring how much the sea is rising.
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The Justice Department has launched a probe into JPMorgan's $2.3 billion loss.
I believe it's called "Operation wink, nod, and look
the other way."
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As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at
a Traffic Warden's funeral, a voice from inside screamed:
"I'm not dead, I'm not dead....... Let me out!"
The Vicar smiled, leaned forward sucking air
through his teeth and muttered:
"Too late pal, the paperworks already done"
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What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
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Obama is using the one good thing about his
presidency as a campaign issue, the killing of bin Laden.
Unfortunately, he fails to mention how he also
helped to kill the economy
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New research shows that eating organic foods can make people more arrogant and judgmental.
In fact, eating just one handful of organic bean sprouts has the
same effect as driving 1,000 miles in a Prius.
