Are you ready for a good weekend?
Weather's gonna be great....
••
Beer Run??
Making the Saturday night bath count....
Oppps!
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♥
Bargains at the pet shop:
A hummingbird that knows the words......
A bloodhound with hypoglycemia.....
A chameleon that's stuck on green.....
A depressed hyena.....
An absent-minded elephant .....
A hummingbird that knows the words......
A bloodhound with hypoglycemia.....
A chameleon that's stuck on green.....
A depressed hyena.....
An absent-minded elephant .....
••
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love
and didn't notice it."
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love
and didn't notice it."
••
Apparently towels are the biggest cause of dry skin.
••
Two old actors are sitting on a bench.
One says: "How long has it been since you had a
job?" The other actor says "Thirty two years --
how about you?"
The first actor says, "That's nothing.
I haven't had a job in forty years!"
The other says, "One of these days we've got to
get out of this business!"
One says: "How long has it been since you had a
job?" The other actor says "Thirty two years --
how about you?"
The first actor says, "That's nothing.
I haven't had a job in forty years!"
The other says, "One of these days we've got to
get out of this business!"
••
When a doctor remarked on a new patient’s
extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said,
“high blood pressure, Doc.
It runs in my family.”
“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor
asked.
“Neither,” the patient replied.
“It’s from my wife’s family.”
“Oh, come now,” said the doctor “How could your
wife’s family give you high blood pressure?”
He sighed. “You ought a meet’em sometime, Doc!”
extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said,
“high blood pressure, Doc.
It runs in my family.”
“Your mother’s side or your father’s?” the doctor
asked.
“Neither,” the patient replied.
“It’s from my wife’s family.”
“Oh, come now,” said the doctor “How could your
wife’s family give you high blood pressure?”
He sighed. “You ought a meet’em sometime, Doc!”
••
The Captain Kirk actor William Shatner.........
has opened a women's clothing shop, but it's not
doing to well at the moment, it could be something
to do with the name,
"SHATNER PANTS"
The Captain Kirk actor William Shatner.........
has opened a women's clothing shop, but it's not
doing to well at the moment, it could be something
to do with the name,
"SHATNER PANTS"
••
We've all been there, being so broke that at
Christmas all you could exchange were glances.
Stuff like that you remember a lifetime.
Just in case you don't know if you're broke,
here are some ways to tell...
· At KFC you lick other people's fingers.
· If you wanted to rub two nickels together you'd
have to borrow one.
· At communion you go back for seconds.
· You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
· You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
· Long distance companies don't call you to switch.
· If you stopped on a dime, you'd probably owe it
to someone.
· McDonald's is the supplier of all your kitchen
condiments.
· Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep
breath outside a restaurant.
You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice
and cookie.
Christmas all you could exchange were glances.
Stuff like that you remember a lifetime.
Just in case you don't know if you're broke,
here are some ways to tell...
· At KFC you lick other people's fingers.
· If you wanted to rub two nickels together you'd
have to borrow one.
· At communion you go back for seconds.
· You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
· You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.
· Long distance companies don't call you to switch.
· If you stopped on a dime, you'd probably owe it
to someone.
· McDonald's is the supplier of all your kitchen
condiments.
· Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep
breath outside a restaurant.
You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice
and cookie.
