Friday the 13th... Beware ...
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The twelve-year-old boy stood patiently beside the
clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of
the adult customers.
Finally he got around to the youngster, who made
his purchase and hurried out to the curb,
where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.
"What took you so long, son?" he asked.
"The man waited on everybody in the store before
me," the boy replied. "But I got even."
"How?"
"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was
waiting," the youngster explained happily.
"It's going to be a mighty noisy place at eight
o'clock tonight."
clock counter while the store clerk waited on all of
the adult customers.
Finally he got around to the youngster, who made
his purchase and hurried out to the curb,
where his father was impatiently waiting in his car.
"What took you so long, son?" he asked.
"The man waited on everybody in the store before
me," the boy replied. "But I got even."
"How?"
"I wound and set all the alarm clocks while I was
waiting," the youngster explained happily.
"It's going to be a mighty noisy place at eight
o'clock tonight."
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My wife has just said to me "How about you dress
up in that black mask again, you know,
like you did a few weeks ago, pretending you broke
into the house?"
I have no idea what she's talking about......
up in that black mask again, you know,
like you did a few weeks ago, pretending you broke
into the house?"
I have no idea what she's talking about......
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Did you hear about the scientist who crossed a
carrier pigeon with a woodpecker?
He got a bird that not only delivers messages,
but knocks on the door when it gets there.
carrier pigeon with a woodpecker?
He got a bird that not only delivers messages,
but knocks on the door when it gets there.
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Patient: doctor, doctor I feel like a pair of curtains..
Doctor: pull your self together man..
Doctor: pull your self together man..
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Paddy drags a huge metal box to the Antiques
Roadshow in Dublin.
"Where did you get this from?" asks the expert.
"It's been in my loft for 40 yrs...... I think it's
a family heirloom" says Paddy.
"Do you have any insurance?" asks the
expert.
"Should I?" asks Paddy.
"Yes you should." says the expert....
"It's your water tank."
Roadshow in Dublin.
"Where did you get this from?" asks the expert.
"It's been in my loft for 40 yrs...... I think it's
a family heirloom" says Paddy.
"Do you have any insurance?" asks the
expert.
"Should I?" asks Paddy.
"Yes you should." says the expert....
"It's your water tank."
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My Dr. told me to take two tablets and a hot bath.
I got the tablets down alright but the bath pretty
near killed me.
I got the tablets down alright but the bath pretty
near killed me.
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Two chinese gangsters are planning to break into
a Scottish distillery.
One says to the other.. Is it whisky.?
yes. Replies the other...
But not as whisky as a bank wobbery..!
a Scottish distillery.
One says to the other.. Is it whisky.?
yes. Replies the other...
But not as whisky as a bank wobbery..!
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A building contractor was being paid by the week
for a job that was likely to stretch over several
months.
He approached the owner of the property and
held up the check he'd been given.
'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed
on,' he said.
'I know,' the owner said.
'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars,
and you never complained.'
The contractor said.
'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,
but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call
it to your attention.'
for a job that was likely to stretch over several
months.
He approached the owner of the property and
held up the check he'd been given.
'This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed
on,' he said.
'I know,' the owner said.
'But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars,
and you never complained.'
The contractor said.
'Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake,
but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call
it to your attention.'
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The man who tries to do something and fails is
infinitely better than he who tries nothing and
succeeds.
The man who tries to do something and fails is
infinitely better than he who tries nothing and
succeeds.
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