How are you doing?
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♥
But doctor, lamented the young husband in
counseling, whenever Sue and I quarrel,
She becomes historical.
You mean, hysterical, said the doctor.
No, historical.
She is always digging up my past.
counseling, whenever Sue and I quarrel,
She becomes historical.
You mean, hysterical, said the doctor.
No, historical.
She is always digging up my past.
••
Wayne was returning home from a business trip...
bags in hand ... and slowly making his way to his
vehicle in the crowded airport garage.
Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a stop in
front of Wayne, and the driver pointed menacingly
at him. “Get in,” the driver ordered.
“I’ll take you to your car.”
Startled, Wayne took a step backward.
“Ah ... no thanks,” he answered.“
I can get there myself.”
“No,” the man barked back as he threw open his
passenger side door....... “Get In !”
Wayne’s eyes now darted around the garage,
hoping to find a security guard.
Just then, the driver’s face softened .....
“Please,” he said, “I’ve been driving up and down
for two hours.
I can’t find a space to park and I want yours.
bags in hand ... and slowly making his way to his
vehicle in the crowded airport garage.
Suddenly a large dark car screeched to a stop in
front of Wayne, and the driver pointed menacingly
at him. “Get in,” the driver ordered.
“I’ll take you to your car.”
Startled, Wayne took a step backward.
“Ah ... no thanks,” he answered.“
I can get there myself.”
“No,” the man barked back as he threw open his
passenger side door....... “Get In !”
Wayne’s eyes now darted around the garage,
hoping to find a security guard.
Just then, the driver’s face softened .....
“Please,” he said, “I’ve been driving up and down
for two hours.
I can’t find a space to park and I want yours.
••
Advertising Rule: In writing a patent-medicine
advertisement, first convince the reader that he
has the disease he is reading about; secondly,
that it is curable.
advertisement, first convince the reader that he
has the disease he is reading about; secondly,
that it is curable.
••
Expressions are crazy.
How about the one, What crawled up your ass and
died?
Thats a strange one; it means a persons in a bad
mood or whatever.
It doesnt make any sense.
I think that one would be in a worse mood if said
thing were still alive.
How about the one, What crawled up your ass and
died?
Thats a strange one; it means a persons in a bad
mood or whatever.
It doesnt make any sense.
I think that one would be in a worse mood if said
thing were still alive.
••
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to
come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked
her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
" It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother.
Then she added, " Mommy can't come to the phone
to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
come out of the jar.
During her struggle the phone rang so she asked
her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
" It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her
mother.
Then she added, " Mommy can't come to the phone
to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
••
A very tight man was looking for a gift for a
girlfriend.
Everything was too expensive, except for a broken
glass vase which he could purchase for almost
nothing.
He asked the store to send it, hoping his friend
would think it had been broken in transit.
In due time, the man received an
acknowledgement from his friend.
"Thanks for the vase," it read.
"It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece
separately."
girlfriend.
Everything was too expensive, except for a broken
glass vase which he could purchase for almost
nothing.
He asked the store to send it, hoping his friend
would think it had been broken in transit.
In due time, the man received an
acknowledgement from his friend.
"Thanks for the vase," it read.
"It was so thoughtful of you to wrap each piece
separately."
••
Dr. Jones, the head psychiatrist
at the local mental hospital, is examining patients
to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his
patients, "I see by your chart that you've been
recommended for dismissal.
Do you have any idea what you might do once
you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies,
"Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering.
That's still a good field, good money there.
But on the other hand, I thought I might write a
book about my experience here in the hospital,
what it's like to be a patient here.
People might be interested in reading a book like
that.
In addition, I thought I might go back to college
and study art history, which I've grown interested
in lately."
Dr. Jones nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like
intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my
spare time, I can go on being a teapot."
at the local mental hospital, is examining patients
to see if they're cured and ready to re-enter society.
"So, Mr. Clark," the doctor says to one of his
patients, "I see by your chart that you've been
recommended for dismissal.
Do you have any idea what you might do once
you're released?"
The patient thinks for a moment, then replies,
"Well, I went to school for mechanical engineering.
That's still a good field, good money there.
But on the other hand, I thought I might write a
book about my experience here in the hospital,
what it's like to be a patient here.
People might be interested in reading a book like
that.
In addition, I thought I might go back to college
and study art history, which I've grown interested
in lately."
Dr. Jones nods and says, "Yes, those all sound like
intriguing possibilities."
The patient replies, "And the best part is, in my
spare time, I can go on being a teapot."
••
Do you know:
Why we say AMEN and not A Women?
We sing HYMNS not HERS....
Why we say AMEN and not A Women?
We sing HYMNS not HERS....
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