"Hump Day" middle of the week....
Hope all's well...
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I just read "100 things to do before you die"
was quite surprised to see that 'shout for help'
wasn't in there.
was quite surprised to see that 'shout for help'
wasn't in there.
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I met a lady at the bus stop, "So then,
getting the bus?" I asked.
"Well, what does it look like?" she said
angrily.
I replied, "Emm, it's a big blue and white
thing with loads of people on it!"
getting the bus?" I asked.
"Well, what does it look like?" she said
angrily.
I replied, "Emm, it's a big blue and white
thing with loads of people on it!"
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A waiter brings the customer the steak he
ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer,
"with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to
fall on the floor again?"
ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer,
"with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to
fall on the floor again?"
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The boss was concerned that his employees
weren't giving him enough respect, so he tried an
old fashioned method of persuasion:
He brought in a sign that said, I'm the Boss? and
taped it to his door.
After lunch, he noticed someone had taped
another note under his. ?
Your wife called...... She wants her sign back!
weren't giving him enough respect, so he tried an
old fashioned method of persuasion:
He brought in a sign that said, I'm the Boss? and
taped it to his door.
After lunch, he noticed someone had taped
another note under his. ?
Your wife called...... She wants her sign back!
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During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little
children entered the dinning room totally nude
and walked slowly around the table.
The parents were so embarrassed that they
pretended nothing was happening and kept the
conversation going.
The guests cooperated and also continued as if
nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the
children left, and there was a moment of silence
at the table, during which one child was heard to
say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”
children entered the dinning room totally nude
and walked slowly around the table.
The parents were so embarrassed that they
pretended nothing was happening and kept the
conversation going.
The guests cooperated and also continued as if
nothing extraordinary was happening.
After going all the way around the room, the
children left, and there was a moment of silence
at the table, during which one child was heard to
say, “You see, it is vanishing cream!”
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A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him
sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly.
"She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that.
Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither,........ He's bald."
sitting at his desk, looking very depressed.
"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.
"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly.
"She's hired a new secretary for me."
"Well, nothing wrong in that.
Is she blonde or brunette?"
"Neither,........ He's bald."
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My favorite Catholic holiday is Easter.
For those of you that don't know,
Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from
the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit
that hides colored eggs.
For those of you that don't know,
Easter is the day we celebrate Jesus rising from
the grave and coming back to Earth as a rabbit
that hides colored eggs.
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Two Irish friends leave the pub.
One says to other, 'I can't be bothered to walk all
the way home'.
'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and
we've missed the last bus home.
We could steal a bus from the depot.' replies his
mate.
They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get
a bus while the other keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts,
'What are you doing?
Have you not found one yet?'
'I can't find a No. 91'
'Oh for goodness sake, ye thick sod, take the
No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout.
One says to other, 'I can't be bothered to walk all
the way home'.
'I know, me too but we've no money for a cab and
we've missed the last bus home.
We could steal a bus from the depot.' replies his
mate.
They arrive at the bus depot and one goes in to get
a bus while the other keeps a look-out.
After shuffling around for ages, the lookout shouts,
'What are you doing?
Have you not found one yet?'
'I can't find a No. 91'
'Oh for goodness sake, ye thick sod, take the
No. 14 and we'll walk from the roundabout.
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