Hump day is here.....
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The President is angrily calling for more federal
tax increases.
He just heard from his advisors that some
American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.
tax increases.
He just heard from his advisors that some
American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.
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While working on a medical/surgical floor,
I noticed one of my male patients had received a
very large basket of fruit.
I walked into the room saying, "Wow, that is the
biggest thing I've ever seen!"
My patient said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I
was uncovered."
I had to laugh out loud.
I noticed one of my male patients had received a
very large basket of fruit.
I walked into the room saying, "Wow, that is the
biggest thing I've ever seen!"
My patient said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know I
was uncovered."
I had to laugh out loud.
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A man in China discovered a new kind of fish that
looks like it has wings and legs.
The discovery has led to questions from biologists -
and a bidding war between KFC and Red Lobster.
looks like it has wings and legs.
The discovery has led to questions from biologists -
and a bidding war between KFC and Red Lobster.
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I was married when I met my girlfriend.
She told me emphaticallly that she wouldn't have
sex with a married man.
So,I divorced my wife and married my girlfriend.
Then I found out, much to my sorrow , that she
meant EXACTLY what she said!!
She told me emphaticallly that she wouldn't have
sex with a married man.
So,I divorced my wife and married my girlfriend.
Then I found out, much to my sorrow , that she
meant EXACTLY what she said!!
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My insurance man told me that the accident
policy covers falling off the roof... but not hitting
the ground.....
policy covers falling off the roof... but not hitting
the ground.....
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My wife got naked and asked;
"What do you like most, my pretty face or my sexy
body?"
I looked her up and down and replied,
"Your sense of humour."
"What do you like most, my pretty face or my sexy
body?"
I looked her up and down and replied,
"Your sense of humour."
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When you're feeling down & out, remember this....
In 1976 on this day, Ronald Wayne sold his 10%
stake in Apple for $800, that 10% stake is now
worth $58 billion !!
In 1976 on this day, Ronald Wayne sold his 10%
stake in Apple for $800, that 10% stake is now
worth $58 billion !!
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When a man asked to be excused from jury duty
the judge told him he needed a good excuse.
"I'm required where I work." the man replied.
"Your company can get by without you," the judge
said, "You're not indispensable."
The man sighed, "That's what I'm afraid they'll
find out."
the judge told him he needed a good excuse.
"I'm required where I work." the man replied.
"Your company can get by without you," the judge
said, "You're not indispensable."
The man sighed, "That's what I'm afraid they'll
find out."
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Programming today is a race between software
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots.
So far, the Universe is winning.
engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to
produce bigger and better idiots.
So far, the Universe is winning.
••
A guy down at the coffee shop said he'd had a
dream that he was alone in a boat with
Dolly Parton.
His pal asked, "How did you make out?"
"Great!" he said.......
"I caught a twelve pound bass!"
dream that he was alone in a boat with
Dolly Parton.
His pal asked, "How did you make out?"
"Great!" he said.......
"I caught a twelve pound bass!"
