Our weather is crazy....
Up and down, temps....
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A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on
the subway reading an Arab newspaper.
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the
same subway car, noticed this strange
phenomenon.
Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind?
Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"
Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish
newspaper, but what did I find?
Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews
disappearing through assimilation and
intermarriage, Jews living in poverty.
So I switched to the Arab newspaper.
Now what do I find?
Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media,
Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world.
The news is so much better!"
the subway reading an Arab newspaper.
A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the
same subway car, noticed this strange
phenomenon.
Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind?
Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"
Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish
newspaper, but what did I find?
Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews
disappearing through assimilation and
intermarriage, Jews living in poverty.
So I switched to the Arab newspaper.
Now what do I find?
Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media,
Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world.
The news is so much better!"
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A slightly unsure witness to a car crash kept saying
things like, "I think the light was yellow," or, "I
think it was still raining."
The cross-examining lawyer interrupted, saying
derisively, "We don't care what you think.
What do you know?"
The harried witness paused for a moment and
then replied, "Then I may as well leave the witness
stand.
Since I'm not a lawyer, I can't talk without thinking."
things like, "I think the light was yellow," or, "I
think it was still raining."
The cross-examining lawyer interrupted, saying
derisively, "We don't care what you think.
What do you know?"
The harried witness paused for a moment and
then replied, "Then I may as well leave the witness
stand.
Since I'm not a lawyer, I can't talk without thinking."
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A woman accompanies her pregnant girlfriend to court for an
alimony hearing.
"Have you also been served?" asks the judge the
woman.
"No" replies the woman "we just kissed".
alimony hearing.
"Have you also been served?" asks the judge the
woman.
"No" replies the woman "we just kissed".
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News Flash....
Osama Bin Laden was living with 3 wives in one
compound, and never left the house for 5 years.
It is now believed he may have called the
Navy Seals himself ....
Osama Bin Laden was living with 3 wives in one
compound, and never left the house for 5 years.
It is now believed he may have called the
Navy Seals himself ....
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“There are three faithful friends, an old wife,
an old dog, and ready money.”
Benjamin Franklin
an old dog, and ready money.”
Benjamin Franklin
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Trying to control her frizzy and dry hair, Kay
treated her scalp with olive oil before washing it.
Worried that the oil might leave an odor than that
her hair obviously needed it, she washed her hair
several times with strong soap.
That night when Kay went to bed, she leaned over
to her husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive
oil?"
"Why ?" he asked, pulling back.
"Do I smell like Popeye?"
treated her scalp with olive oil before washing it.
Worried that the oil might leave an odor than that
her hair obviously needed it, she washed her hair
several times with strong soap.
That night when Kay went to bed, she leaned over
to her husband and asked, "Do I smell like olive
oil?"
"Why ?" he asked, pulling back.
"Do I smell like Popeye?"
••
Chuck Norris was on Celebrity Wheel~of~Fortune
and was first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of
everyone standing around awkwardly just waiting
for the wheel to stop ... it was so weird.
and was first to spin.
The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of
everyone standing around awkwardly just waiting
for the wheel to stop ... it was so weird.
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I was looking at the pies offered by a nearby café.
They had cherry, pecan, berry, peach, and
Herman’s.
"What type of pie is Herman’s?"
I asked the waiter.
"Apple," he said.
"Then why is it called Herman’s pie?"
"Because Herman called in to reserve it."
They had cherry, pecan, berry, peach, and
Herman’s.
"What type of pie is Herman’s?"
I asked the waiter.
"Apple," he said.
"Then why is it called Herman’s pie?"
"Because Herman called in to reserve it."
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I didn't like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.
Then it grew on me.
