Monday, April 9, 2012

Good Morning...Friends..
••







••••••••••••
••••••
•••

After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in
for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing
coming from his room.
Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically.
He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a
penny and he was sure he was going to die.
 No amount of talking was helping.
His father, in an attempt to calm him down,
palmed a penny from his pocket and pretended to
pull it from Sammy's ear.
Sammy was delighted.
 In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand,
swallowed it, then cheerfully demanded,
"Do it again, Daddy, do it again!!!"

••
Question;
What's light as a feather and smells like carrots?
Answer: Bunny farts!

••
Doctor: "I can't figure out what's wrong with you,
I think its the heavy drinking"
Patient: "Well then, I'll come back when your sober"

••
Brad had a blind date with Ashley for the prom
and, as the evening progressed, he found himself
attracted to her more and more.
After some really passionate embracing, he said,
"Tell me, do you object to making love?"
 "That's something I have never done before,"
Ashley replied.
"Never made love?
You mean you are a virgin?" Brad was amazed.
"No, silly!" she giggled..... "I've never objected!"

••
Paddy and Murphy doing a crossword, I'm stuck
on 2 down murphy.... flightless bird from iceland
Murphy replies ya thick twat thats easy....
Frozen chicken!!!

••
Have you heard about the new cure for baldness?
Preparation H.
It won't grow you any hair, but it will shrink your
head to fit what you have.

••
Michael and his wife Bridget had a little tiff while
they were getting ready to attend a wedding.
On their way to the church, their seven-year-old
daughter Gabrial sat in the back seat asking
questions about marriage. 
"What does it mean to get married?" she asked. 
Michael explained."It's when two people who love
each other agree to live together forever.
Do you want to get married someday when you
grow up Gabby?"
The little girl replied, "No, I want to be happy all
the time."

••
 Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing
is a dirty double crosser
•••••••••••