A few fun pictures and jokes...
••
•••••••••••••••
•••••••••
•••
♥
Paddy and Murphy doing a crossword, i'm stuck
on 2 down murphy, flightless bird from iceland....
Murphy replies ya thick twat thats easy....
Frozen chicken!!!
on 2 down murphy, flightless bird from iceland....
Murphy replies ya thick twat thats easy....
Frozen chicken!!!
••
I was walking down the street with my wife
earlier when she accused me of being ashamed
to be seen with her.
"That's total bollocks" I replied.
By text, from across the road.
earlier when she accused me of being ashamed
to be seen with her.
"That's total bollocks" I replied.
By text, from across the road.
••
The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised
when a young lady about twenty years old walked
up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults,
but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her,
"What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother," said the young lady.
"Something for your mother?
Well, that's very thoughtful of you,'' smiled Santa.
"What do you want me to bring her? "
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
when a young lady about twenty years old walked
up and sat on his lap.
Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults,
but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her,
"What do you want for Christmas?"
"Something for my mother," said the young lady.
"Something for your mother?
Well, that's very thoughtful of you,'' smiled Santa.
"What do you want me to bring her? "
Without blinking she replied, "A son-in-law!"
••
Did you hear about the new age fanatic who
refused Novocain during a root canal?
He was able to transcend dental medication.
refused Novocain during a root canal?
He was able to transcend dental medication.
••
Jerry was distraught.
He was talking to the guys about his dilemma.
"I think the hunting trip is off, guys," he said.
Jim said, "Well, you talked it over with your wife,
what did she say?"
Jerry said, "She doesn't see anything wrong with
it at all.
In fact she thinks two weeks holed up in a cabin
in Canada alone with the boys would do our
marriage some good."
"And..." said Jack.
Jerry stammered," I just don't think she should
go."
He was talking to the guys about his dilemma.
"I think the hunting trip is off, guys," he said.
Jim said, "Well, you talked it over with your wife,
what did she say?"
Jerry said, "She doesn't see anything wrong with
it at all.
In fact she thinks two weeks holed up in a cabin
in Canada alone with the boys would do our
marriage some good."
"And..." said Jack.
Jerry stammered," I just don't think she should
go."
••
I hate people who make loud noises on public
transport...... Especially suicide bombers.
transport...... Especially suicide bombers.
••
A junior high had a zero tolerance policy on name
calling, so a teacher had a concern when a student
complained another student had called him the
"E" word.
"E" word? the teacher asked, puzzled as she could
could not think of one.
The student lowered his voice and muttered,
"idiot"
calling, so a teacher had a concern when a student
complained another student had called him the
"E" word.
"E" word? the teacher asked, puzzled as she could
could not think of one.
The student lowered his voice and muttered,
"idiot"
••
The only sure things are Death and Taxes...
and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS,
they'll be the same thing.
and when Chuck Norris goes to work for the IRS,
they'll be the same thing.
••
Edward Hale, while Chaplin of the U.S. Senate,
was asked, do you pray for the Senators?
He quickly replied, no, after getting to know the
Senators, I pray for the people.
was asked, do you pray for the Senators?
He quickly replied, no, after getting to know the
Senators, I pray for the people.
••••
