Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning Friends....
TGIF day...Ready for the weekend?
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One day, Mrs Arnold, a teacher at Green Barn
Infant School, Norwich, England, was attempting
to teach the names of animals to a class of 5-year-
olds.
Firstly she held up a picture of a deer, and asked
one boy, 'Sammy, what is this animal?'
Sammy looked at the picture with a disheartened
look on his face and responded, 'I'm sorry
Mrs Arnold, I don't know.'
Mrs Arnold was not one to give up easily, so she
then asked Sammy, 'Well, Sammy, what does your
Mummy call your Daddy?'
Sammy's face suddenly brightened up, but then a
confused look spread slowly, and he asked,
'Mrs Arnold, is that really a pig?'

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Pete, aged 9 years: Is it true? 
Dad, I heard that in China, a man doesn't know
his wife until he marries.
Roger, his father: That happens everywhere, son,
everywhere!

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A blonde called in a repairman to fix her
electric clock.
He examined it and told her, "There's nothing
wrong with the clock.
You didn't have it plugged in."
She replied, "I don't want to waste electricity,
so I only plug it in when I want to know what
time it is."

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I thought dating a tennis player would be a ball,
but it was just a racquet!

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Bartender to drunk: “ Why don’t you take the
streetcar home?”
Drunk: “Shno use.
My wife won’t let me keep it.”

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There once was a lady who was very concerned
about her missing parrot.
Not knowing what to do, she called 911.
"You gotta help me find my parrot!"
The operator patiently replied, "We can't help you
with that, ma'am.
This number only deals with emergencies."
 But the lady persisted, and then the operator told
her not to be concerned, that the parrot should fly
back in a few days.
 Then, out of desperation, the lady begged,
"But you don't understand!
The only thing he knows how to say is..........
"Here, kitty, kitty!!!"

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Cop to drunk: “Say fellow, do you know who
I am?”
Drunk: “Can’t shay I do, but tell me where you
live and I’ll help you home.”

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Scientists are going to start using lawyers in there
lab experiments instead of little white mice
for 3 reasons.
1. Lawyers multiply faster than little white mice,
2. Scientists don't get as attached to lawyers as
they do to little white mice,
3. Lawyers will do things that no self respecting
little white mouse would even think of doing....

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Man who finds job at crystal ball company will
make a forture..

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Angry wife at 3:00 AM : “What does the clock say?”
Drunk husband: “ It shay tick tock, and li’l
doggies shay bow wow and li’l pushy cats shay
meow meow.”