Going to be a nice week.....
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An eight-year-old boy went into a grocery store
and picked out a large box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he
had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash
my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog,"
said the grocer.
"It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in
this, he'll get sick.
In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the
detergent to the counter and paid for it.
A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy
some candy.
The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried
to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the
detergent that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
and picked out a large box of laundry detergent.
The grocer walked over and asked the boy if he
had a lot of laundry to do.
"Oh, no laundry," the boy said, "I'm going to wash
my dog."
"But you shouldn't use this to wash your dog,"
said the grocer.
"It's very powerful and if you wash your dog in
this, he'll get sick.
In fact, it might even kill him."
But the boy was not to be stopped and carried the
detergent to the counter and paid for it.
A week later, the boy was back in the store to buy
some candy.
The grocer asked the boy how his dog was doing.
"Oh, he died," the boy said.
The grocer said he was sorry, but added, "I tried
to tell you not to use that detergent on your dog."
"Well, the boy replied, "I don't think it was the
detergent that killed him."
"Oh? What was it then?"
"I think it was the spin cycle!"
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After planning the wedding for six months the big
day arrives tomorrow and I've only one regret.
I won't see her face when she gets the April Fool's
text.
After planning the wedding for six months the big
day arrives tomorrow and I've only one regret.
I won't see her face when she gets the April Fool's
text.
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I have traveled the country looking for greener
pastures.
I found what I am looking for......
Problem now is.... I gotta mow it.
pastures.
I found what I am looking for......
Problem now is.... I gotta mow it.
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While cleaning the attic, Gus found an old stub for
some shoes he left at the repair shop 10 years ago.
He thought it would be funny to go to the shop
and see if the shoes were still there.
So he did.
He handed the stub to the repair man who took
it and looked in the back.
He came out again and said, "They'll be ready on
Wednesday."
some shoes he left at the repair shop 10 years ago.
He thought it would be funny to go to the shop
and see if the shoes were still there.
So he did.
He handed the stub to the repair man who took
it and looked in the back.
He came out again and said, "They'll be ready on
Wednesday."
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TSA to reduce Scrutiny of older flyers.....
At her press conference announcing the decision
to reduce scrutiny of older flyers, Janet Napolitano
was asked what guidelines were going to be used
for determining which passengers qualified.
Her response: Depends.
At her press conference announcing the decision
to reduce scrutiny of older flyers, Janet Napolitano
was asked what guidelines were going to be used
for determining which passengers qualified.
Her response: Depends.
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Dr. Cutter is the local Veterinarian, known for his
wry humor.
He surpassed himself one summer day when a
city dog was brought to him after an encounter
with a porcupine.
After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting
and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner,
who asked what she owed.
"Fifteen dollars, Ma'am," he answered.
"Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed.
"That's what's wrong with you Maine people,
you're always trying to over charge summer
visitors.
Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not
being gypped here?"
"Raise porcupines, Ma'am."
wry humor.
He surpassed himself one summer day when a
city dog was brought to him after an encounter
with a porcupine.
After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting
and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner,
who asked what she owed.
"Fifteen dollars, Ma'am," he answered.
"Why that's simply outrageous!" she stormed.
"That's what's wrong with you Maine people,
you're always trying to over charge summer
visitors.
Whatever do you do in the winter, when we're not
being gypped here?"
"Raise porcupines, Ma'am."
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Mrs. Casey was telling her friend Mrs. Kelly about
a rather juicy rumour.
"That's very interesting," said Mrs. Kelly.
"Come on, tell me more about it."
Mrs. Casey said, "I can't.
I've already told you more than I heard!
a rather juicy rumour.
"That's very interesting," said Mrs. Kelly.
"Come on, tell me more about it."
Mrs. Casey said, "I can't.
I've already told you more than I heard!
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A group of Americans touring Ireland.
One of the women in the group was a real
curmudgeon, constantly complaining.
The bus seats are uncomfortable.
The food is terrible.
It's too hot.
It's too cold.
The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous
Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you
kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said.
"Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no
one willbe able to kiss it.
Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman
shouted.
"We have some other boring tour to go on.
So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."
"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you
kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll
have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone,"
the woman scoffed.
"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said......
"but I've sat on it."
One of the women in the group was a real
curmudgeon, constantly complaining.
The bus seats are uncomfortable.
The food is terrible.
It's too hot.
It's too cold.
The accommodations are awful.
The group arrived at the site of the famous
Blarney Stone.
"Good luck will be followin' ya all your days if you
kiss the Blarney Stone,"the guide said.
"Unfortunately, it's being cleaned today and so no
one willbe able to kiss it.
Perhaps we can come back tomorrow."
"We can't be here tomorrow," the nasty woman
shouted.
"We have some other boring tour to go on.
So I guess we can't kiss the stupid stone."
"Well now," the guide said, "it is said that if you
kiss someone who has kissed the stone, you'll
have the same good fortune."
"And I suppose you've kissed the stone,"
the woman scoffed.
"No, ma'am," the frustrated guide said......
"but I've sat on it."
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