Good Morning, every one... on April Fools day....
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President Obama was interviewing for new
accountants to handle the books for his Obamacare
scheme.
Barack asked the first applicant, "What does one
plus one equal?"
The accountant was escorted out of the White
House after answering, "Two."
Barack then asked the next applicant,
"What does one plus one equal?"
That one answered, "What do you want it to equal?
" Obama promptly replied, "You've got the job."
accountants to handle the books for his Obamacare
scheme.
Barack asked the first applicant, "What does one
plus one equal?"
The accountant was escorted out of the White
House after answering, "Two."
Barack then asked the next applicant,
"What does one plus one equal?"
That one answered, "What do you want it to equal?
" Obama promptly replied, "You've got the job."
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I was sitting there minding my own business
and having a beer when I said to a girl beside me
"Hi, I'm James. Do you come here often?"
She replied, "You've already told me your name
and yes, I come here every week.
I can tell it's your first time here though."
"How come?"
"AA meetings are for people who want to stop
drinking."
I was sitting there minding my own business
and having a beer when I said to a girl beside me
"Hi, I'm James. Do you come here often?"
She replied, "You've already told me your name
and yes, I come here every week.
I can tell it's your first time here though."
"How come?"
"AA meetings are for people who want to stop
drinking."
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The man came to see the doctor about his
constant fatigue and the doctor said,
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to give up sex.”
The man said, “But I’m a young guy.
I’m in the prime of my life.
How can I just give up sex?”
“Well,” the doctor said, “you do what everyone
does.
You get married and you taper off gradually.”
constant fatigue and the doctor said,
“I’m afraid you’re going to have to give up sex.”
The man said, “But I’m a young guy.
I’m in the prime of my life.
How can I just give up sex?”
“Well,” the doctor said, “you do what everyone
does.
You get married and you taper off gradually.”
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I don't get creationists...............
They can't grasp the concept of an ape like
creature evolving into a man, yet they have no
problem with a rib turning into a woman.
I don't get creationists...............
They can't grasp the concept of an ape like
creature evolving into a man, yet they have no
problem with a rib turning into a woman.
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So my wife asked me ....
"What TV show title do you think sums me up
best, sweety?"
I think saying "Probably Deadliest Catch", was not
the right answer.....
"What TV show title do you think sums me up
best, sweety?"
I think saying "Probably Deadliest Catch", was not
the right answer.....
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I said to my wife this morning, "I was just reading
in a scientific Journal, and did you know that
blades of grass can actually feel pain?
Amazing isn't it?"
"Nice try.....
The lawnmower's in the shed."
in a scientific Journal, and did you know that
blades of grass can actually feel pain?
Amazing isn't it?"
"Nice try.....
The lawnmower's in the shed."
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A guy and a girl were planning on going on a date
to a new restaurant.
The girl got ready and waited for her date to come
pick her up.
She waited for almost an hour and realized she
got stood up.
So she took off all her makeup and put up her
hair in a bun.
She slipped into her pajamas, made some popcorn,
and watched tv.
Ten minutes later the doorbell rang, and sure
enough it was the guy coming to pick her up.
He looked her up and down and said, "Really?
I'm an hour late and you're STILL not ready!?"
to a new restaurant.
The girl got ready and waited for her date to come
pick her up.
She waited for almost an hour and realized she
got stood up.
So she took off all her makeup and put up her
hair in a bun.
She slipped into her pajamas, made some popcorn,
and watched tv.
Ten minutes later the doorbell rang, and sure
enough it was the guy coming to pick her up.
He looked her up and down and said, "Really?
I'm an hour late and you're STILL not ready!?"
The fight was on...
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Best bar pick-up line in Kentucky:
"Hey, you don't sweat much for a fat broad."
"Hey, you don't sweat much for a fat broad."
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In the maternity ward of a hospital a new-born
girl baby looks over at new-born boy baby and asks,
"Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"
The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"
"How can you tell?" asks girl baby.
"Easy," says boy baby.
And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted
up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed
downward...... "See.....blue booties"
girl baby looks over at new-born boy baby and asks,
"Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?"
The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!"
"How can you tell?" asks girl baby.
"Easy," says boy baby.
And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted
up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed
downward...... "See.....blue booties"
