Ready for the pics and jokes?
••
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
▬▬▬▬▬
▬▬
♥
One Wednesday Martin demanded of his
boss, 'I must have a pay raise.
You should realize there are three other
companies after me.'
'Really?' replied Martin's boss,' And who
might these companies be?'
'Florida Power and Light, People's Gas and
AT&T,' answered Martin.
boss, 'I must have a pay raise.
You should realize there are three other
companies after me.'
'Really?' replied Martin's boss,' And who
might these companies be?'
'Florida Power and Light, People's Gas and
AT&T,' answered Martin.
☼☼
While reading the newspaper, Walter came
across an article about a beautiful actress and
model who married a boxer who was not noted
for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife,
"why the biggest jerks get the most attractive
wives."
His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."
across an article about a beautiful actress and
model who married a boxer who was not noted
for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife,
"why the biggest jerks get the most attractive
wives."
His wife replied, "Why, thank you, dear."
☼☼
A man and his friend were exiting a drugstore
and at the frontdoor there was a scale.
"Look, a scale," the man said to his friend.
"Let's see how my new diet is working out."
He stepped on the scale.
"I can't believe it!" he said as he read the result. "
I've beenon this diet for two weeks but the scale
says I'm heaver than I was before!
How can that be?"
and at the frontdoor there was a scale.
"Look, a scale," the man said to his friend.
"Let's see how my new diet is working out."
He stepped on the scale.
"I can't believe it!" he said as he read the result. "
I've beenon this diet for two weeks but the scale
says I'm heaver than I was before!
How can that be?"
He pondered this as he stepped off the scale,
then had a thought.
Hetook off his jacket and handed it to his friend.
"Here, hold my jacket," he said.
The friend took the jacket as the man stepped
back on the scale.
Not much change.
"Here," he said as he handed his purchase from
the drugstore to his friend.
"Hold my Twinkies too."
then had a thought.
Hetook off his jacket and handed it to his friend.
"Here, hold my jacket," he said.
The friend took the jacket as the man stepped
back on the scale.
Not much change.
"Here," he said as he handed his purchase from
the drugstore to his friend.
"Hold my Twinkies too."
☼☼
I was signing the receipt for my credit card
purchase when the clerk noticed that I had
never signed my name on the back of the credit
card.
She informed me that she could not complete
the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature on the credit
card with the signature I just signed on the
receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared that signature to the
one I signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched...
purchase when the clerk noticed that I had
never signed my name on the back of the credit
card.
She informed me that she could not complete
the transaction unless the card was signed.
When I asked why, she explained that it was
necessary to compare the signature on the credit
card with the signature I just signed on the
receipt.
So I signed the credit card in front of her.
She carefully compared that signature to the
one I signed on the receipt.
As luck would have it, they matched...
☼☼
Office conversation!
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this
fax-machine?''
2nd Person: "A little...... What's wrong?''
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient
called back to say all she received was a
cover-sheet and a blank page.
I tried it again, and the same thing happened.''
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?''
1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I
didn't want anyone else to read it by accident,
so I folded it so only the recipient would open
it and read it.''
Office conversation!
1st Person: "Do you know anything about this
fax-machine?''
2nd Person: "A little...... What's wrong?''
1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient
called back to say all she received was a
cover-sheet and a blank page.
I tried it again, and the same thing happened.''
2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?''
1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I
didn't want anyone else to read it by accident,
so I folded it so only the recipient would open
it and read it.''
☼☼
Just another day in the life of a turban-headed
desert dweller... Who came to visit the U.S....
Visiting the U.S. For the first time, an Afghani
diplomat was being wined and dined by the
State Department.
The Mullah wasn't accustomed to the salt in
American food (French fries, cheese, etc.) and
was constantly sending his man-servant,
Abdul, to fetch him a glass of water.
Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and
return with a glass of water.
But then came the time he returned
empty-handed.
Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my
water?' demanded the Mullah.
'A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One,
' stammered the wretched Abdul,
'but a man is sitting on the well.'
desert dweller... Who came to visit the U.S....
Visiting the U.S. For the first time, an Afghani
diplomat was being wined and dined by the
State Department.
The Mullah wasn't accustomed to the salt in
American food (French fries, cheese, etc.) and
was constantly sending his man-servant,
Abdul, to fetch him a glass of water.
Time and again, Abdul would scamper off and
return with a glass of water.
But then came the time he returned
empty-handed.
Abdul, you son of an ugly camel, where is my
water?' demanded the Mullah.
'A thousand pardons, O Illustrious One,
' stammered the wretched Abdul,
'but a man is sitting on the well.'
☼☼
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
