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♥
An aged farmer and his wife were leaning
against the edge of their pig-pen when the old
woman wistfully recalled that the next week
would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
‘Let’s have a party, Homer,’ she suggested.
‘Let’s kill a pig.’
The farmer scratched his grizzled head.
‘Geeee,’ he finally answered, ‘I don’t see why
the pig should take the blame for something
that happened fifty years ago.’
against the edge of their pig-pen when the old
woman wistfully recalled that the next week
would mark their golden wedding anniversary.
‘Let’s have a party, Homer,’ she suggested.
‘Let’s kill a pig.’
The farmer scratched his grizzled head.
‘Geeee,’ he finally answered, ‘I don’t see why
the pig should take the blame for something
that happened fifty years ago.’
••
The bride came down the aisle and when she
reached the altar, the groom was standing there
with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, “What are your golf clubs doing here?”
He looked her right in the eye and said,
“This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
The bride came down the aisle and when she
reached the altar, the groom was standing there
with his golf bag and clubs at his side.
She said, “What are your golf clubs doing here?”
He looked her right in the eye and said,
“This isn’t going to take all day, is it?”
••
What is it with the............
Amish women around here?
They seem to like me when I talk to them or
buy their baked goods but I give them my phone
number and I never hear from them.
Amish women around here?
They seem to like me when I talk to them or
buy their baked goods but I give them my phone
number and I never hear from them.
••
Q. What's the difference between a cat and a
comma?
A. A cat has its claws at the end of its paws;
a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
comma?
A. A cat has its claws at the end of its paws;
a comma is a pause at the end of a clause.
••
Gus called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
“I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you
in for at least two weeks.”
“But I could be dead by then!”
“No problem......
If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the
appointment.”
“I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you
in for at least two weeks.”
“But I could be dead by then!”
“No problem......
If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the
appointment.”
••
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning
and got to thinking about things.
"Mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his
head?" he asked his mother.
"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased
with herself for coming up with a good answer to
her husband's baldness.
Johnny thought for a second and said,
"I'm glad you don't do any thinking.
You would look silly without hair."
and got to thinking about things.
"Mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his
head?" he asked his mother.
"He thinks a lot," replied his mother, pleased
with herself for coming up with a good answer to
her husband's baldness.
Johnny thought for a second and said,
"I'm glad you don't do any thinking.
You would look silly without hair."
••
Some years ago my husband turned off the main
water valve in our home while he repaired some
plumbing problems.
I cautioned my then-four-year-old son, David,
not to flush the toilet because his dad was
working on the pipes.
I thought this a perfectly sensible explanation.
Later, however, I found David sitting comfortably
on the bathroom floor with the toilet seat up and
his head inside the bowl.
I did my best to stifle my laughter as I heard,
"Dad, it's me.
Where are you?
How did you get in there?
And when are you coming up so I can see you.?
water valve in our home while he repaired some
plumbing problems.
I cautioned my then-four-year-old son, David,
not to flush the toilet because his dad was
working on the pipes.
I thought this a perfectly sensible explanation.
Later, however, I found David sitting comfortably
on the bathroom floor with the toilet seat up and
his head inside the bowl.
I did my best to stifle my laughter as I heard,
"Dad, it's me.
Where are you?
How did you get in there?
And when are you coming up so I can see you.?
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
