Spring is here, and everthing is in bloom..
Maybe a few showers, but thats good...
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No joke more truth........
"Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty
for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years
in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to
you is another two years in office. "
"Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty
for lying to a congressman can be up to 30 years
in jail, but the penalty for a congressman lying to
you is another two years in office. "
♦♦
The Unicorn barely made it aboard Noah's Ark...
He's so happy to be there he doesn't even care
about the rain.
He goes up on deck and sees the other Unicorn,
so he goes over to introduce himself.
"Hi, I'm George! I barely made it!
Can you believe we're the last two Unicorns on
Earth?
We get to repopulate our species after the flood is
over.
Isn't that great?
What's your name, sweetheart?"
"Steve," says the other Unicorn.
He's so happy to be there he doesn't even care
about the rain.
He goes up on deck and sees the other Unicorn,
so he goes over to introduce himself.
"Hi, I'm George! I barely made it!
Can you believe we're the last two Unicorns on
Earth?
We get to repopulate our species after the flood is
over.
Isn't that great?
What's your name, sweetheart?"
"Steve," says the other Unicorn.
♦♦
To my nature loving friends!......
The newsletter from, "The Texas Gardener Seeds"
said:
Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of
these shy animals.
Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and
other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be
rabid than dogs are.
Need another reason?
Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the
seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of
forests.
Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and
astonishing creatures.
Here are three from the Bat Family...
Sucker-footed Bat
Red-Winged Fruit Bat
Left-Winged Socialist, Ding Bat.
So 2 out of 3 Bats have a useful purpose!
If we could just train them to eat mosquitoes...
or do anything useful for that matter!
The newsletter from, "The Texas Gardener Seeds"
said:
Put up a bat house to encourage the presence of
these shy animals.
Bats consume 3,000 or more mosquitoes and
other insects nightly, and bats are less likely to be
rabid than dogs are.
Need another reason?
Bats are responsible for up to 95 percent of the
seed dispersal essential to the regeneration of
forests.
Our planet is populated with plenty of bizarre and
astonishing creatures.
Here are three from the Bat Family...
Sucker-footed Bat
Red-Winged Fruit Bat
Left-Winged Socialist, Ding Bat.
So 2 out of 3 Bats have a useful purpose!
If we could just train them to eat mosquitoes...
or do anything useful for that matter!
♦♦
If you lose one sense, your other senses become
enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humour have
an increased sense of self-importance.
If you lose one sense, your other senses become
enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humour have
an increased sense of self-importance.
♦♦
His wife's graveside service was just barely
finished, when there was a massive clap of
thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of
lightning, accompanied by even more thunder
rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly
said, "Well, she's there."
finished, when there was a massive clap of
thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of
lightning, accompanied by even more thunder
rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly
said, "Well, she's there."
♦♦
A couple was having a discussion about family
finances.
Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for
my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your
money I wouldn't be here."
finances.
Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for
my money, the house wouldn't be here!"
The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your
money I wouldn't be here."
♦♦
A tour Bus driver is driving with a Bus load of
seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his
shoulder by a little old Lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he
gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his
shoulder again and she hands him another
handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch
again he asks the little old lady,
‘Why don’t you eat the Peanuts yourself”?
‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth’,
she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them
then”?
The Old Lady Replied,
‘We just love the Chocolate around them”.
seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his
shoulder by a little old Lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he
gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his
shoulder again and she hands him another
handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch
again he asks the little old lady,
‘Why don’t you eat the Peanuts yourself”?
‘We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth’,
she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, ‘Why do you buy them
then”?
The Old Lady Replied,
‘We just love the Chocolate around them”.
♦♦
A door-to-door poll-taker asked a young
housewife what form of contraception she
and her husband used.
"We use the bucket-and-saucer method,"
replied the Woman.
"Gee, I'm not familiar with that method," the
poll-taker replied, "Can you explain it to me?
"Well, it works like this.
My husband's shorter than me so he has to stand
on a bucket."
"I see," said the poll-taker, still confused,
"What happens then?"
"And when his eyes get as big as saucers," the
housewife continued, "I kick the bucket out
from under him!
housewife what form of contraception she
and her husband used.
"We use the bucket-and-saucer method,"
replied the Woman.
"Gee, I'm not familiar with that method," the
poll-taker replied, "Can you explain it to me?
"Well, it works like this.
My husband's shorter than me so he has to stand
on a bucket."
"I see," said the poll-taker, still confused,
"What happens then?"
"And when his eyes get as big as saucers," the
housewife continued, "I kick the bucket out
from under him!
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