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♥
The wise old Mother Superior from county
Tipperary was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make
her comfortable.
They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she
refused it.
Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.
Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received
as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and
poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass
to her lips.
Mother drank a little, then a little more.
Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole
glass down to the last drop.
Mother," the nuns asked with earnest,
"Please give us some wisdom before you leave us.
"She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on
her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."
Tipperary was dying.
The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make
her comfortable.
They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she
refused it.
Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen.
Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received
as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened and
poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass
to her lips.
Mother drank a little, then a little more.
Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole
glass down to the last drop.
Mother," the nuns asked with earnest,
"Please give us some wisdom before you leave us.
"She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on
her face and said, "Don't sell that cow."
••
Highway Robbery in R-ville....
Gus got robbed at the BP station today.
He called the cops to report it and they asked him
if I knew who did it.
He said, yep..... Pump #3.
Gus got robbed at the BP station today.
He called the cops to report it and they asked him
if I knew who did it.
He said, yep..... Pump #3.
••
A blonde is found by the beach,
putting shampoo all over the clothes that she is
wearing.
Someone walks over and says "what are you doing?"
blonde says "I am trying to wash my clothes"
guy says "you dont have to do that, you can use a
washing machine"
blonde says "I tried, but it made me dizzy"
putting shampoo all over the clothes that she is
wearing.
Someone walks over and says "what are you doing?"
blonde says "I am trying to wash my clothes"
guy says "you dont have to do that, you can use a
washing machine"
blonde says "I tried, but it made me dizzy"
••
I had a yard sale,... sold somebody else’s yard
while they were gone.
Boy, were they surprised when they got home and
the new 'owners' were sitting there, in lawn chairs !!!
while they were gone.
Boy, were they surprised when they got home and
the new 'owners' were sitting there, in lawn chairs !!!
••
I went to the doctors the other day and I said,
'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
I went to the doctors the other day and I said,
'Have you got anything for wind?'
So he gave me a kite.
••
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the
priests noticed she was gaining a little weight.
"Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?"
he asked.
"No, Father. Just a little gas," Sister Susan
explained.
A month or so later the priest noticed that she
had gained even more weight.
"Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?"
he asked again.
"Oh no, Father.
Just a little gas," she replied again.
A couple of months later the priest noticed
Sister Susan pushing a baby carriage around the
convent.
He leaned over and looked in the carriage and
said, "Cute little fart."
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the
priests noticed she was gaining a little weight.
"Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?"
he asked.
"No, Father. Just a little gas," Sister Susan
explained.
A month or so later the priest noticed that she
had gained even more weight.
"Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?"
he asked again.
"Oh no, Father.
Just a little gas," she replied again.
A couple of months later the priest noticed
Sister Susan pushing a baby carriage around the
convent.
He leaned over and looked in the carriage and
said, "Cute little fart."
••
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other
day but I couldn't find any.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other
day but I couldn't find any.
••
the U.S. Department of the Interior used metal
bands that bear the address of the Washington
Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv.
Until the agency received the following letter from
a camper:
Dear Sirs,
While camping last week I shot one of your birds.
I think it was a crow.
I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag
and I want to tell you it was horrible.
bands that bear the address of the Washington
Biological Survey, abbreviated: Wash. Biol. Surv.
Until the agency received the following letter from
a camper:
Dear Sirs,
While camping last week I shot one of your birds.
I think it was a crow.
I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag
and I want to tell you it was horrible.
••
Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
Slept like a log last night........
Woke up in the fireplace.
