••
Plumbing companys break area....
•••••••••••••••••
••••••••••
•••
♥
After trying a new shampoo for the first time,
a guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval
to the manufacturer.
Several weeks later he came home from work to
a large carton in the middle of the floor.
Inside were free samples of the many products
the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth
paste, and paper items.
“Well, what do you think?” his wife asked smiling.
“Next time,” he replied.......
“I’m writing to General Motors!”
a guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval
to the manufacturer.
Several weeks later he came home from work to
a large carton in the middle of the floor.
Inside were free samples of the many products
the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth
paste, and paper items.
“Well, what do you think?” his wife asked smiling.
“Next time,” he replied.......
“I’m writing to General Motors!”
••
The blonde screams into the phone,
"Hurry, come quick, my house is on fire!"
The fire chief says, "OK, but how do we get to
your house?"
The blonde says, "Duh, use the Red Truck."
"Hurry, come quick, my house is on fire!"
The fire chief says, "OK, but how do we get to
your house?"
The blonde says, "Duh, use the Red Truck."
••
A hunting we will go.......
Having shot a moose two Rednecks began
dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.
On the way they were stopped by a game warden.
"Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said.
When he saw that everything was in order he
asked if he could give them some advice.
"Sure!" the hunters agreed.
"Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot
easier to drag that moose by the horns and not
the tail."
"Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.
After about five minutes one said to the other,
"Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier,
eh?"
"Aye, you're right," said his friend,
"but have you noticed that we are getting further
away from the truck?"
Having shot a moose two Rednecks began
dragging it by the tail to their pick-up.
On the way they were stopped by a game warden.
"Let me see your hunting licenses boys," he said.
When he saw that everything was in order he
asked if he could give them some advice.
"Sure!" the hunters agreed.
"Well boys, I think that you would find it a lot
easier to drag that moose by the horns and not
the tail."
"Aye, O.K. and thanks," said the lads.
After about five minutes one said to the other,
"Boy, dragging by the horns is sure a lot easier,
eh?"
"Aye, you're right," said his friend,
"but have you noticed that we are getting further
away from the truck?"
••
Three freshman engineering students were
sitting around one day arguing about who
might've designed the human body.
The first one said, "It must've been a mechanical
engineer.
The human body has all those levers and pivots
and stuff - a mechanical engineer must have
designed all that."
The second one said, "No, it had to have been
an electrical engineer.
The complex way the nerves are wired up to the
brain... must have been designed by an
electrical engineer."
Then the third one said, "No, it was a civil
engineer.
Who else would have run a waste water line
through a recreational area?"
sitting around one day arguing about who
might've designed the human body.
The first one said, "It must've been a mechanical
engineer.
The human body has all those levers and pivots
and stuff - a mechanical engineer must have
designed all that."
The second one said, "No, it had to have been
an electrical engineer.
The complex way the nerves are wired up to the
brain... must have been designed by an
electrical engineer."
Then the third one said, "No, it was a civil
engineer.
Who else would have run a waste water line
through a recreational area?"
••
One rainy evening, my husband, John, and I
emerged from a restaurant only to find that he
had locked the keys in the car.
He insisted he could open the door with a wire
coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant
to get one. There were none to be found.
John then ran to a department store a
quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger.
After a few attempts, he got the door open and
we climbed in.
As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the
hanger under his seat.
With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever
happens again,...... I'll have one handy......
emerged from a restaurant only to find that he
had locked the keys in the car.
He insisted he could open the door with a wire
coat hanger, so we went back to the restaurant
to get one. There were none to be found.
John then ran to a department store a
quarter-mile away and returned with a hanger.
After a few attempts, he got the door open and
we climbed in.
As we sat there, soaked and cold, he stuck the
hanger under his seat.
With a smug grin, he said, "Now if this ever
happens again,...... I'll have one handy......
••
My doctor told me to start killing people ...
Well, technically the words he used were that I
need to reduce the amount of stress in my life!
Well, technically the words he used were that I
need to reduce the amount of stress in my life!
••
Gus was walking down the main street when he
came across 3 workmen sitting down in a pothole
singing happy birthday.....
He asked them who they were singing happy
birthday to?
One replied its the hole's birthday its one year
old today...
came across 3 workmen sitting down in a pothole
singing happy birthday.....
He asked them who they were singing happy
birthday to?
One replied its the hole's birthday its one year
old today...
••
When her grandfather's hearing aid emitted a
few beeps, his little granddaughter was sitting
nearby.
"Grandpa" she said "you've got mail."
••
few beeps, his little granddaughter was sitting
nearby.
"Grandpa" she said "you've got mail."
••
