Ready for the weekend?
••
•••••••••••••••
••••••••••
•••
♥
Due to the unusual severity of the quake that hit
near D.C., the GOP representatives in the House
called an emergency session and adopted a bill
to rename the fault that runs under the Capital.
It will now be known as "Obama's Fault."
near D.C., the GOP representatives in the House
called an emergency session and adopted a bill
to rename the fault that runs under the Capital.
It will now be known as "Obama's Fault."
••
Obama Employment and Green Jobs.......
The White House is counting everyone working
tomorrow as having a green job.
Obama Employment and Green Jobs.......
The White House is counting everyone working
tomorrow as having a green job.
••
If you steal Tide laundry detergent,
would that be considered a white-collar crime?
would that be considered a white-collar crime?
••
A redneck and a biker are on death row, and are
to be executed on the same day.
The day comes, and they are brought to the gas
chamber.
The warden asks the redneck if he has a last
request, to which he replies, "Ah shore do, wardn.
Ahd be mighty grateful ifn yood play Achy Breaky
Heart fur me bahfore ah hafta go."
"Sure enough, we can do that," says the warden.
He turns to the biker, "And you, biker,
whats your last request?"
"That you kill me first."
to be executed on the same day.
The day comes, and they are brought to the gas
chamber.
The warden asks the redneck if he has a last
request, to which he replies, "Ah shore do, wardn.
Ahd be mighty grateful ifn yood play Achy Breaky
Heart fur me bahfore ah hafta go."
"Sure enough, we can do that," says the warden.
He turns to the biker, "And you, biker,
whats your last request?"
"That you kill me first."
••
I'm such a loser, I was shadow boxing today
and the shadow beat the crap out of me!
and the shadow beat the crap out of me!
••
A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey.
When the bartender delivered the drink, the
cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the
hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown
paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper
trousers and brown paper shoes."
"Weird guy," said the cowboy.
"What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," said the bartender.
When the bartender delivered the drink, the
cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"
The bartender replied, "They've gone to the
hanging."
"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"
"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.
"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.
"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown
paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper
trousers and brown paper shoes."
"Weird guy," said the cowboy.
"What are they hanging him for?"
"Rustling," said the bartender.
••
The four-year-old son of a nurse was called
indoors to eat.
Before he had time to sit down, his mother
reminded him to wash his hands so that germs
would not make him sick.
Shuffling to the bathroom, he mumbled,
"Jesus and germs. Jesus and germs.
That's all I ever hear about and I ain't never seen
either one."
indoors to eat.
Before he had time to sit down, his mother
reminded him to wash his hands so that germs
would not make him sick.
Shuffling to the bathroom, he mumbled,
"Jesus and germs. Jesus and germs.
That's all I ever hear about and I ain't never seen
either one."
••
What did the tired chess player do?
He took the knight off...
He took the knight off...
••
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
