Down Hummingbird Lane

Good Morning Everyone.....
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Moving Day??

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♥

A man goes to a Unitarian Universalist service
for the first time, and later is asked what he
thought of it. "Darndest church I ever went to,"
he replies, "the only time I heard the name of
Jesus Christ was when the janitor fell down the
stairs."

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A husband was with his wife when she decided
to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an
exclusive lingerie shop.
Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place
when a beautiful clerk askedf if she could help
him.
In a cocky manner, he asked, "Where are all the
men's clothes?"
In a demure voice the clerk replied, "All of these
clothes ARE for men, sir."

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"I always worry when you leave for a weekend
with the guys," sobbed the pretty young wife.
"Don't worry about me, babe," he soothed her.
"I'll be back before you know it."
"I know," she sighed. "That's what worries me."

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A bar in London is installing a breathalyzer.
If you're drunk, it advises you not to drive.
If you're really, really drunk, it advises you not
to call your old girlfriend.

••

Fred's class was taken to the Natural History
Museum in New York.
"Did you enjoy yourself?" asked her mother
when he got home.
"Oh, yes," replied Fred.
"But it was funny going to a dead zoo."

••

Q: Did you hear about the blonde man that
locked his keys in his car?
A: Took him an hour to get his family out
with a coat hanger.

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A middle-aged man, bent over at the waist,
was helped into the doctor's office by his wife.
A curious woman patient asked,
"I suppose it's arthritis with complications."
"No" replied the wife,
"it's do-it-yourself with concrete blocks."

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Once upon a time, there was a man who muttered
a few words in the Church and found himself
married.

A few years later, he muttered a few words in his
sleep and found himself divorced.

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