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The secret of enjoying a good wine........
open the bottle to allow it breathe.
If it does not look like it's breathing,
give it mouth to mouth.
open the bottle to allow it breathe.
If it does not look like it's breathing,
give it mouth to mouth.
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When a woman says "what?"..
it is not because she did not hear you.
She's giving you a chance to change what you
said ;)
it is not because she did not hear you.
She's giving you a chance to change what you
said ;)
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The county implemented a birth control program
here.....
Seems to be working.
They took the back seats out of all of the log
trucks.
here.....
Seems to be working.
They took the back seats out of all of the log
trucks.
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I was sitting at a bar with a friend the other night
when he casually pointed across the bar from us
and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there...
that's going to be us in ten years."
I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!"
when he casually pointed across the bar from us
and said, "see those two old drunks sitting there...
that's going to be us in ten years."
I looked and him and said, "that's a mirror stupid!"
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I recently flew to Detroit to campaign for the
release of an American man who I felt had been
wrongly imprisoned ;
Mr. Kenneth Frederick Crawfords
I even had my banner all written out, although
I couldn't fit his entire name on it so I used his
initials.
Apparently walking around detroit city with a
huge banner reading " Free KFC" is not the
smartest thing to do...
release of an American man who I felt had been
wrongly imprisoned ;
Mr. Kenneth Frederick Crawfords
I even had my banner all written out, although
I couldn't fit his entire name on it so I used his
initials.
Apparently walking around detroit city with a
huge banner reading " Free KFC" is not the
smartest thing to do...
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Today my doctor told me to start killing people ...
Well, technically the words he used were that I
need to reduce the amount of stress in my life !!
Well, technically the words he used were that I
need to reduce the amount of stress in my life !!
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Sue drained her pool the other day, and
when I asked her why, she responded:
"I want to practice diving, but I don't know how
to swim!"
when I asked her why, she responded:
"I want to practice diving, but I don't know how
to swim!"
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One day there was a woman who lost her cat
named "LOVE."
It was pretty dark outside and she lived in
New York.
So, thinking that he might be down the street,
she put on her house-coat and went looking for
him.
When a police officer stopped to ask what she
was doing, she said very honestly,
"I'm looking for LOVE."
The policeman arrested her on the spot.
One day there was a woman who lost her cat
named "LOVE."
It was pretty dark outside and she lived in
New York.
So, thinking that he might be down the street,
she put on her house-coat and went looking for
him.
When a police officer stopped to ask what she
was doing, she said very honestly,
"I'm looking for LOVE."
The policeman arrested her on the spot.
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Grandpa was celebrating his
100th birthday and Everybody complimented
him on how athletic and well- preserved he
appeared.
"I will tell you the secret of my success,"
he cackled.
"My wife and I were married 75 years ago.
On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge.
Whenever we had a fight, the one who was
proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.
Gentlemen, I have been in the open air day after
day for some 75 years now."
Grandpa was celebrating his
100th birthday and Everybody complimented
him on how athletic and well- preserved he
appeared.
"I will tell you the secret of my success,"
he cackled.
"My wife and I were married 75 years ago.
On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge.
Whenever we had a fight, the one who was
proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.
Gentlemen, I have been in the open air day after
day for some 75 years now."
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·٠•●♥ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♥●•٠·˙ 
