Down Hummingbird Lane

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Not Me!!

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♥

My wife was abducted by terrorist's.
and now and I've just got word that my worst
fears came true......
They're releasing her.

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A guy is in a diner for breakfast and asks,
"Will the pancakes be long?"
Reply: "No, they will be round, as usual."

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Gus arrived on time for his doctor's appointment.
An hour and a half later, he finally saw the doctor.
Afterward, the doctor gave him this advice:
avoid sitting for a long time. 
"The only time I do that is when I come here for
an appointment,"  Gus grumbled.

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Just look at this body," boasted the fit old man
to the group of young people.
"Every morning I do fifty push-ups and thirty
sit-ups and walk two miles.
I'm fit as a fiddle!
And you know why?
Because I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't stay
up late, AND I don't chase women!"
 He smiled, his eye gleaming.
"And tomorrow, I celebrate my 95th birthday!"
"Oh, really?" said one sarcastic youngster......
"How?"

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To impress his date, a young man took her to a
very chic Italian restaurant.
After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the
menu and ordered.
"We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.
"Sorry, sir," said the waiter..... "That"s the owner."

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Due to the highly confidential
 nature of my job, I am not
allowed to know what I am doing.

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They told me I was gullible...
and I believed them.

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Experience is the thing you have left when
everything else is gone.

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